So have you figured it out yet? You know… my secret? Did you catch all the clues I left you? Alright then, did you catch just a few of the clues I left you? None of the clues I left you? Have you even bothered to review all the clues I left you?
Well why not? Oh I see, you’ve just been reviewing all the clues I left you. And you still came back? Are you sure you’re alright? I mean, maybe you outta sit down?
Okay, so you’re alright? Phew had me worried there for a minute, especially since I haven’t really left any clues. But I do have a secret.
Well actually I have more than one secret, however, that ONE SECRET if I were to tell you that one secret, might eliminate the need for my disguise. What disguise?
Why… my red nose, silly!
Anyway, that means my one secret is gonna have to remain a secret. Not that I’m a huge celebrity, I’m a skinny one… with a slightly expanding waistline.
Besides I couldn’t pose for a photograph with any of you much less sign an autograph, because I don’t think that’s possible on this blog.
Now on the other hand, I could tell you about my wife’s BIG SECRET. The one about her BEING A CELEBRITY who occasionally gets recognized when we go out.
Then again, she made me swear never to tell you that secret… even in hushed tones.
Probably because she really does sign autographs for people and pose for pictures with them.
But she doesn’t have a blog—I got her there!
Still, I probably stand a better chance of getting into a photo only if I photo-bomb someone else’s photo op, so she actually has the edge there. You might say I’m an acorn in my wife’s shadow.
Here I’ll give you an example of what I mean, and this actually happened.
Once we were on this Monorail (I’ll let you guess where), and this family recognized my wife—yeah, sunglasses and all!
They asked her if she wouldn’t mind posing with them for a photo. I was asked to pose, too. No doubt, an afterthought.
Anyway, I thought, “Sure, why not.”
Except, I made the mistake of stepping off of the monorail—thinking that my wife was right behind me—and then the monorail doors closed BEHIND ME. I gotta get the name of that joker.
Anyway, as the monorail left the station I was left thinking about what might have been, as my wife remained on board with the family and posed for pictures with her fans.
Naturally this left me (the acorn) standing there with nothing but egg on my face—and a red nose.
True story and no longer a secret as everyone at the monorail station—who were all laughing—will attest.
But hey, that’s what we comedians do we make people laugh—even when we don’t get paid for it!
You know, now that I think about it, maybe I should have kept this… A SECRET.