Ever since the dawn of man our pursuit for items of value has driven us to acquire and stockpile commodities, currencies, precious metals, and collectibles of every kind.
Assets, that’s the name of the game, folks.
Acquiring as much of as many valuables as we can possibly lay our hands on, that’s what its all about. Trying to obtain anything of value like goods, or property. Is there something we can stake the cash equivalent to—count us in. If old man Midas wants it—we want it too. Capital? You bet!
Now I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking, but Paul, the time when cavemen could afford those kinds of shiny treasures has long since gone the way of the Dodo…
Or to the top one percent in the 2018 tax cut.
And you’d almost be right.
But, hold on for a second.
Any of you happen to know where I could lay my hands on an extinct Dodo? Talk about a golden goose!
No? Oh well … it was worth a try.
Where was I? Oh yeah!
Now it’s said that “THEY” say, “All that glitters is not gold.” But, what are “THEY” truly experts on anyway?
Other than being experts on unsolicited opinions by taxi drivers, or old wives tales—probably nothing.
Especially when it comes to a subject like “All that glitters.”
I, on the other hand, know all there is to know about “All that glitters” and…
A new Dot.Glitter bubble!
Which, makes me about as valuable to you—as an extinct Dodo!
That’s right, there’ll soon be a thing called the Dot.Glitter bubble, and I’m the guy who can get you in on the ground floor of this next big economic boom because I misplaced my keys to the upstairs office—and to the executive washroom as well.
No problem, though, ’cause I know Marty the night watchman upstairs. Meaning, there’ll be no problem when it comes to moving up the ladder—or into the executive washroom for that matter.
I just hope Martys awake when we get there ’cause he’s 93 years old—but he still has a spring in his step.
How do I know that, you ask?
Well the last visitor to go upstairs was vaulted through the ceiling after he stepped on a spring in that step—step-ladder that is.
My head still hurts. You know, it’s amazing I didn’t get get brain-damage?
Anyway, just watch your step when climbing that ladder of his—and hope he remembers which step the spring is on.
Of course, that’s not what this post is all about. This post, is about how to get your hands on all that bling…
Glitter, if you will.
I can understand your being a little skeptical and all. I was too at first. Then came my brain scan, and everything became clear as day—a foggy day.
It was on that foggy day, when while attending class at William McKinley grade school, that Ms. Louisa May Thornapple (my Kindergarten teacher) announced to our class that we were all going to be making Valentine Cards for mommy and daddy that day.
When the other kids began meticulously cutting out paper and using glue on their crayon drawn cards, I got busy emptying a variety of colorful glitter onto my own two cards.
Leaving absolutely no glitter for anyone else.
Ms. Thornapple took one look at my two cards—and the empty glitter containers—and pulled me up out of my chair, and exclaimed to the whole class…
“Children, this stuff is way too valuable to waste like that!”
I knew she had to be talking about the glitter because there was still plenty of Elmer’s Glue-All in a one gallon jug up on the shelf—and a half empty jug still on my desk.
I mean, what else could she have possibly been screaming about, right?
It was then—while I was being dragged down the hallway by my left earlobe to the principal’s office—that I realized I held the key to the next big treasure to explode upon the market.
I figured the jokes on Ms. Thornapple, because while she was going to spend the next several decades teaching 5 year olds, I was going to be making a fortune in the (soon to be) booming Glitter market.
I started out small at first by buying up every single ounce of glitter I could from my fellow classmates—sometimes for as little as pennies on the dollar.
Eventually, though, I suspect the tykes got wise to my short-changing them, because they began demanding I start forking over nickles and dimes for the rest of their stash.
I did so gladly because one day soon I knew I could command as much as $100 or more for an ounce of the stuff.
Over the years I spent hundreds of thousands of dollars for glitter, all while maxing out my high-interest credit cards in the process, because I knew one day I would corner the glitter market.
I even went back years later and bought out Ms. Thornapple’s and her complete classroom supply of the stuff—after I dropped out of school.
She claimed it was all gimcrackery anyway.
I thought, what an ill-informed edumacated person.
So today, I’m prepared to pass on to you (my loyal readers) some inside-trader knowledge about this soon to be Glitter Boom.
I’m prepared to offer to you as many one ounce bottles of this extremely valuable stuff before I go public. And I’m going to do that by giving it all to you at a rock-bottom price of only…
$50 a ounce!
That’s right, only $50 an ounce, and then you all can go turn around and ask $100 or even more for that same ounce—thus, we all get rich together!
It’s okay, there’s no need to thank me—I’m used to being a visionary.
So … how many ounces can I put you down for, eh?