Being a native Californian (oh yeah… we all wear a headdress out here) I’ve become accustomed to experiencing sunshine and temperatures in the warm seventies.
So you can imagine my surprise (well you’ll have to since you’re not me) when this morning I opened up my blog and was greeted by of all things… FALLING SNOW.
That’s right, real artificial automated falling snow all over my blog!
At first, I tried scraping the white stuff off the monitor with a credit card—because I don’t have a squeegee lying near my computer like many of my readers who live back east.
But as you can see, that was to no avail as the snow continues to fall unabated here.
I even thought we might be having one of those Nor’easters like the New England area sometimes gets—except this might be more like a Nor’wester—until I realized that’s not quite what I’m experiencing either.
So I yelled to my wife that it was snowing all over my blog site and she responded with, “Did you adjust the contrast?”
After thinking about that response (for all of about two hours) I replied, “Honey, I said it was snowing… NOT THAT MY MONITOR WAS SNOWY!”
It was then I was smacked upside my head with an artificial automated snowball, or a wadded up sock.
It felt like it may have been filled with lots of coin—even though I knew Icouldn’t be that lucky.
After the concussion wore off, I began to explore how this phenominon could possibly happen.
My initial theory was that WordPress must have been experimenting with mixing high-pressure water and compressed air while operating in near freezing temperatures.
If for no other reason than to prove that that theory was correct.
When I postulated that idea to my wife she suggested that…
“Maybe WordPress doesn’t have a roof and that’s why it’s snowing all over your blog.”
I had to admit her idea had merit—due to its simplicity—but I dismissed hers as being architectually flawed. After all, who—other than a sports franchise—puts up a building without a ceiling for their employees to work in?
Then I thought about you, my readers, who are always SECOND in my thoughts and who were stuck having to read this post between all the falling fake snowflakes.
I figure it’s difficult enough reading a post written in broken Californian—an extinct all but ancient language never taught in California schools—without having to read between artificial white dots masqurading as snow as well.
Suddenly, I had an ephiphany and yelled—HEY HONEY… MAYBE ITS MY DANDRUFF!
That’s when it hit me…
Another wadded up sock (ouch), giving me a complete PAIR.
And one awful headache.
Haha… you are so funny, Paul! At least the snow at your place is only falling from your screen. I am having it from the sky too… lol! Enjoy the Californian warmth!
Well, I’ll keep trying to, Erika. But I have to admit, shovelling up all this artificial snow (although very light) does take up a lot of time—and prevents me from vacuuming too! 😀
Haha… what can I say… now I have to shovel twice… lol! But you know what? You will get used too… most of all because you don’t have time for vacuuming… haha!
You’re so right, Erika. After shovelling all those automated white dots from the floor—I have nothing left for vacuuming. Thanks a lot, WordPress—he said sarcastically. 😀
So it’s WordPress, hey? I thought people were applying the dotty dots themselves – the whole thing is making me dotty through and through.
Jan, word on the street has it that’s exactly what people were doing… applying dots to their own monitors. Problem was, though, seems folks couldn’t ever get the dots to move—something to do with the adhesive backs. That’s when some genius (working on call) down at WordPress came up with this mad idea to create falling white dots—instead of falling snow. Word has it, that’s when this genius went down to Jo-Ann’s, a nationwide hobby store—a front for the black market underground for white dots. Well, one dot led to another, and another, and another until… he had amassed one-hundred billion, nine-hundred sixty-one million, four-hundred eighty-two thousand, and two white dots—give or take a couple. That’s when this tech geek created a gizmo—called a sifter— allowing him to sprinkle white dots over blogger’s screens all over WordPress. Apparently… he now has a… FULLTIME job. 😀
It’s a sign of the season.
You’re right there, Kate. That white stuff really gets you in the mood for the holidays. And… it’s not even cold, which is really cool! 😀
Your wife’s reasoning for the WP snow is brilliant. I like the snow because it lends a festive touch to my blog… without me doing one darned thing. 🙂
I thought so too, Ally. However, with my being a math major, I opted not to embarrass her or make her feel bad by pointing out to her that she’s only brilliant 99.9 percent of the time. 😀
That’s what’s throwing me off – it’s the California accent in your typing.
Darn, I’ve been caught out! Scott, what can I say? For years I’ve tried to hide my broken California brogue behind a generic monotone type, but I guess it’s just too thick for any run of the mill keyboard to conceal. I’m so ashamed.
Have you considered radioactive fallout as a possibility? It could be burning holes in the roof.
I fear that hypothesis may have been floated by me once before, but it must have passed unnoticed. So I’ve taken to wearing a hat to cover my roof ever since.
Good call. You can’t be too careful on this one.
We love and need snow. How can one live without? But unfortunately there is only WP snow on our screen, not the real thing. Especially Siri and Selma are very much hoping for lots of real snow this winter and we too. Unfortunately we live in a very mild sea climate with very little snow. But we always go North for a real winter, because we cannot live without snow, ice and freezing temperatures.
Maybe WP has moved to the North Pole to join Father Christmas, who didn’t have time preparing his roof.
All the best and a great pre-Christmas time
The Fab Four of Cley
WordPress and Father Christmas together at the North Pole—diabolical! These complex business mergers happen so fast no wonder they don’t have time to put a roof on a complex.
by the way quite some of our blogposts are also articles my publishers didn’t want. Good to have WP 😉
Quite true. WP at least grants us the opportunity to share pieces of our work that others didn’t find worthy. It really is nice to have that outlet. ‘O)
Ha!! Ha!! A very enjoyable post!! It’s snowing on my Blog too!! 😀
It’s a blizzard of artificial snow I tell ya! LOL! Thank you, nuwansenfilmsen, and Happy Holidays to you and yours! :O)
Your so lucky, never did for me
Well, at first it wasn’t exactly snowing here either. But then a good blogging friend of mine suggested that I check out SETTINGS on my blog, where I then found a box marked, snow. Naturally (being meteorologically reckless), I clicked on the box. Suddenly, a blizzard started falling from the sky—well, from the top of my monitor, anyway—and that’s how I became inundated with all that white stuff. Hopefully, that will help—at least during the holidays. ‘o)
And the good news is… we don’t have to wear a jacket for this stuff. Thank you, Aman, and Happy Holidays! :O)
Hey Paul, how the heck are you? It’s been ages and ages since I’ve last visited. Long story of my computer that died taking my favorites blog folder with it and I had to rebuild. Toss in having to learn some more stuff, getting sick and well, here I am with lots and lots of catching up to do. I hope you had a Merry Christmas and wishing you a Happy New Year!
Hello Steph, hope this response finds you well. I think I did something similar, only I couldn’t quite figure out what it was I did. We were moving into our new house at the time. Then I got frustrated by the whole thing and thought maybe I should just take a breather. That’s when WordPress said, “Go ahead, we won’t stop you! What? WordPress without a cluttered attic? I thought, “Hopefully they have a basement so that I have a place to put my blog when I return.” Seriously, though, I am sorry to hear you were ill, not to mention problems with your computer, but thrilled to see you back and up and running again. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas as well and want to wish you a Happy New Year too! Hoping to be back in the swing of things after New Years. Much love to you and yours, Steph. :O)
Thanks Paul, I’m doing so much better now. I seem to recall you had quite a bit going on during the summer and it’s only logical that a breather would be in order. I saw a quote not too long ago that said something to the effect of “10 years ago we used the internet to escape real life. 10 years later we are using real life to escape the internet.”
It’s so wonderful that we have so many ways of connecting with so many people but at the sme time it can be all consuming. I love the technology although it really is a double edged sword isn’t it?
Haha maybe it’s my dandruff, thats so funny. I wonder why I didn’t getting any snow on my blog.
The good news is… you’re probably Head and Shoulders above it, Thrifty! And the bad news is… I’ve resorted to using awful puns to start off the new year! A Happy New Years to you folks! :O)
Are you keeping warm?
Well, in spite of all the fake stuff falling here (which is beautiful and not as cold as the real stuff) I feel we have it better here than most of the country. So that’s a good thing. Hope it’s not too cold there, Jay. Happy New Year to you and Sean! :O)
Well, it now looks like the great WordPress blizzard of 2017 has come to an end—Welcome to 2018 everyone! May it be a good one for everybody. 😀
Sorry I’m late on this. That snow was from Canada. I sent it. Don’t ask me how….
I knew it, I just knew it, I thought those snowflakes all looked suspiciously like Maple Leafs. No wonder Canada’s Dry now (wink, wink), all your snow flew south for the winter—and I thought only Canadian geese did that! Not to worry though, I wouldn’t dare ask how you did it, we’d be going down a slippery slope for sure. I’d be too afraid that all that snow would be declared illegal aliens and get deported back to Canada by Immigrations and Customs Enforcement agents, better known as (ICE). These days they practically deport anyone or anything. All the same, thanks Paul for giving us Californians a taste of winter. Still can’t believe how when my tongue tasted those snowflakes that they all tasted of maple syrup—should have been my first clue that they were Canadian, eh? 😀
Hahah Canada’s Dry now…I’m stealing that to use in person. Well done. Syrup tasting snowflakes are the best kind. Just stay away from the yellow ones…that don’t come from a different part of the tree, so to speak.
Oh, oh my… whoops. “Honey… I may need to get my stomach pumped, and get the ipecac!” 😀
Paul, our winter here has been a bit colder than usual…and we’ve had way less snow than usual. My theory on snow is I enjoy it from Thanksgiving to New Year’s …but come January 2nd, it can go away until next year. Unfortunately, that’s not how it works here in PA. I did enjoy both your fake flakes as well as the ones WordPress provided. (Since I have always been able to read your posts perhaps I can add “Broken Californian” to my resume as another “Language Spoken”…?)
LOL, Bruce, we here at “The Attic University” are mighty proud of you and proclaim you Phi Beta Inepta, (mostly because I don’t want to be the only one singled out for the honor), which I think means “Silly should be the governor of your life but only if you’re willing to be an advocate of the ridiculous” but don’t quote me on that as my Greek is a little rusty. All the same, YOU PASSED and now have a degree in Broken Californian! I suspect there’s some kind of key that goes with this supposed honour, but seeing as I am prone to losing keys, you’ll probably have to wait until I can find them again—likely under my sofa cushion. Also, you may be surprised to learn that we share the same theory on snow—I figure after January 2nd, Winter is over! That, or until the groundhog fails to see his shadow, whatever comes first. Anyway, congratulations Bruce, you now have an honorary bogus degree—there are not many scholars who can make that claim. 😀
Words cannot do justice to the pride I feel right now. Paul, I will “wear” this honorary bogus degree with head held high. In fact, upon learning of this achievement my wife promised to refer to me as “Your Ineptness” going forward.
Bogus honours and benefits, and from an unrecognized, uncredited school of higher learning too. Your wife is obviously very wise, Bruce, I mean… “Your Ineptness” if I may. In fact, I suspect it won’t be long before we hear you’ve made the Dean’s List as well—actor Dean Cain’s List to be more precise—meaning you might possibly be invited to appear on the CW’s “Masters of Illusion” program sometime soon. Naturally, you’ve maintained an arduous practice schedule of 2 minutes a year to the ever-amusing coin out of the ear trick. You have, haven’t you? Not that we’d ever question any of our graduate’s dedication to the magical arts—a subject we still haven’t adopted at our bogus university—check your syllabus. But… you have continued to practice the trick, right? Never mind, forget we ever asked, we’re just happy you chose tuition with us…uh…I mean, to be an alumnus of “Attic U!” 😀
Oh…. you could make Christmas carols:
you’re just snowin’ us!
It was nice “snowin” you
I snow it all
…and the hits keep coming!
By the way…did you miss me? I took a long break, for a few snow days! It actually snowed here all day. Our first real snow in Bend, OR.
Hope all is well, Paul!
Sandi, I did indeed. Welcome back kiddo! Being as you and the family have now settled in Bend, Oregon I am absolutely certain when you say it snowed there that I’m not getting a snow job. It really does snow there! Been to Bend and I remember Mt. Bachelor being a sight to behold. I’m well, just a little busy of late (somewhat usual at this time of year, though), not that I’m complaining—it pays you see. However, I should be returning to my blog sometime this week—meaning, the madness that is “The Attic” is likely to return as well—WordPress may never recover. Glad you’re back, Flip Flops. ‘O)