If You Want My Opinion

Meopinion.com

Have you ever noticed how people these days seem to have an opinion on everything? If you have then you’re one of the lucky ones, because most people tend to have more than one opinion.

So, how did multiple opinions actually start?

Well—and this is just my opinion—it all seems to date back to when the first patients went to go see a doctor for an opinion on their health, only to find themselves unhappy with their doctors diagnosis. That’s when they were told to go get a second opinion.

That led to a third, a fourth, and finally… a fifth—which they promptly consumed in one gulp.

After that, one opinion led to another, and another, and another PERSON… receiving multiple opinions. This, courtesy of people running amok, which I think is short for the mukluks all the opinionated were wearing on their feet while spreading opinions throughout the land.

And if this all sounds convoluted to you—well that’s your opinion. But that’s a good thing too, because now at least you have an opinion.

If—on the other hand—you have a high opinion of yourself, how are you able to hold that high opinion of yourself? I mean, seeing as you’re holding it on one hand, but not the opposite hand? And wouldn’t that mean you’re a terribly unbalanced individual?

Just a thought.

On the off chance you hold a low opinion of yourself… are you Mini-Me? Just curious, because I’ll stoop to get your autograph.

“Well if you want my opinion…” Now there’s a statement!

Would you really want a second hand opinion? And another thing; why would anyway just give their opinion away? Could it be that it’s totally worthless?

Which leads me to ask. Have you ever thought what your opinion, or opinions might be worth on the open market, and could you get rich by sharing them?

I was once told by someone, that he wouldn’t give me two cents for my opinion. I thought about it for a moment and then replied,

“Okay, what if I were to make that ten cents for a dozen? That way you get 12 of my opinions for only a dime. You save two cents!”

I figured if money was going to be an issue here, maybe I’d better make a deal.

Also, I seriously doubted he’d give me his opinion for free, as he’d already said he wouldn’t give me two cents for mine. That made me wonder how much it was gonna cost me to hear his?

Naturally, I thought it good business sense to bundle a group of mine together at a bargain basement price, before he made me an offer on his I couldn’t refuse.

You know, this post has got me thinking.

Maybe I’ve become far too opinionated for my own good.

 

 

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Is It Still Friday The 13th?

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What a day I’ve been having. I’ve been diligently working on fixing a special project of mine, but not my “Clutterland” amusement park idea.

According to my wife, that projects done. Something about our house already having become “Clutterland” and that I had a lot to do with it? Funny… I don’t recall building the park yet—or even starting it!

Frankly, I think she’s gone back to sniffing glue and hallucinating again, but that’s a story for another time.

Yet, all the same I figured if my “Clutterland” amusement park idea was indeed truly finished, then I had time to explore my other big idea. That of making… a time machine. At the moment a project I’m urgently trying to fix.

Now I know what you’re probably thinking. You’re thinking, “Paul, couldn’t you have gone and invented something less ridiculous than a time machine?” I did! I created this blog and that’s only slightly less ridiculous, wouldn’t you say?

Anyway, you’ll never guess what the biggest problem is in making a time machine? Finding the time to make it. Fortunately, I own a watch and what’s a time machine without a way to tell time, right?

So with the key ingredient for making a time machine already on hand (so to speak), I found the rest of the pieces just fell into place.

I won’t bore you with the details except to say, that with only 24 hours in a day to work on a project—and my working 8 of those for people with absolutely no interest in making a time machine that left me with only 16 hours to eat, sleep, and do my business…

And my wife informed me that she didn’t want me doing my business anywhere… but in the bathroom. Well that made perfect sense.

However, building a time machine has left me precious little time for anything else—particularly overdue projects my wife expected me to do. And what’s more; I’ve been wrestling with where I might go once this time machine was finished.

My wife had a suggestion where I might go, but that meant building a heat shield for the trip.

Her suggestion was not for a real popular destination anyway… too much fire and brimstone down there. Besides, I hear the place is full of undesirables with one fellow who likes to carry a pitchfork.

So I said, “To hell with the idea!” and she said, “Precisely!” You know, I sometimes think she can be really vague?

Anyway, in preparation for this, my very first trip, I watched every time traveler movie and TV show I could get my hands on. And during this preparation I made a startling discovery.

Did you know time travelers usually set their time machines to go back to disastrous events? Well they do.

I guess the idea being; if they set the time machine if they get there before the disastrous event happens, they might alter the outcome.

If only I could do that right now.

You see, long story short; I came in and the bathroom door jammed shut, and the bathroom window is way too small for me to escape through. Now I’m trapped in here.

And my time machine isn’t working.

Every time I set the digital coordinates for yesterday or earlier, it always comes up… Friday the 13th! Don’t suppose my wife could have accidentally preset the date and removed the key?

In any event—I’m not getting out of here anytime soon—and I think there’s a real nasty possibility of my running out of toilet paper.

Lights Out As “The Attic’s” Virtual Reality Convention Comes to An End

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I hated that this was the last day of our virtual reality bloggers convention, but what a party!

The shows, the buffets, the getting kicked out of Caesars Palace for not paying.

Where else can you go to get this kind of entertainment without going to Las Vegas? How about a weird, wild, and wacky site called “The Attic?

Take Thursday night for example: we all went over to the Rio to see Penn & Teller. Poor Suze, http://suziland.net/2016/05/blogging-u/ she was so excited to be here, being that it was her first time visiting one of my conventions.

Didn’t have the heart to tell her—it was everyone’s first time visiting one of my conventions.

Then, she went and got invited up on stage by Penn & Teller, to help out in doing their new vanishing act—no doubt the highlight of her trip.

Had to be disappointing for her when she found she was stepping out of that refrigerator back into her own kitchen. Her trip to Las Vegas, kaput, and her attendance at the convention—sadly over! Oh those crazy guys, is there nothing they won’t do for a laugh?

But at least Suze didn’t have to buy a plane ticket back home.

I was also thrilled that everyone else had a chance to pose for pictures with Penn & Teller in the lobby after the show. Tony https://tonyburgess1969.net/2016/05/07/keeping-up-with-the-bloggers/ Sheila https://humorcolumnistblog.com/2016/05/03/the-savings-place/ and Barb https://saneteachers.com/about/ all wanting to hang out with Elle https://knowleselle.wordpress.com/2016/05/06/hairdressers-and-coincidences/ after the show.

That couldn’t have had anything to do with, Elle, being Teller’s assistant during the goldfish bowl trick (gifts were exchanged, promises made, autographs given), could it? Nah!

I even let Teller and my youngest son pose for a picture with me. They were so thrilled! Why you couldn’t even wipe the smiles from their faces.

Later, we ran into Mike https://mctuggle.com/2016/04/27/quote-of-the-day-33/ Sue https://stranscht.com/2016/05/01/the-zone/ and Susannah https://athingirl.com/2016/04/20/columbine-by-dave-cullen/ as they were signing autographs at Starbucks.

Doesn’t everyone?

I got to sign an autograph, too. Used my rubber name stamp on Priceless Joy’s autograph book. Seeing as I didn’t ask for permission to do so, I hope she doesn’t discover it until she gets home.

Later, we ran into Jay https://assholeswatchingmovies.com/2016/05/06/captain-america-civil-war/ Moviejoltz https://moviejoltz.com/2016/04/26/flash-movie-review-a-hologram-for-the-king/ Vinnie https://vinnieh.wordpress.com/2016/04/21/the-stepford-wives/ and Movierob https://movierob.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/swiss-family-robinson-1960/ at the elevator in the hotel lobby, as they were discussing movies they hadn’t seen.

I told them I hadn’t seen Ishtar, and they all laughed and said, “Who has?”

http://www.fright-bytes.com

Once upstairs I went next door to wake Beverly before going to bed. I had Beverly https://ghosttalkblog.com/ check our room for ghost. You can never be too careful.

Then there was yesterday. While mingling on the convention floor, I almost felt like a REAL avatar. Almost.

Until I ran into blogging buddy, Scott https://snoozingonthesofa.com/2016/05/05/he-aint-hungry-hes-my-brother/ and his two boys, Buster and Big Man. After that, I didn’t feel much like a REAL avatar anymore.

REAL avatars don’t feel pain. Have you ever noticed how they’re always getting blown up, cut in half, or shot, and still they get right back up as if nothing ever happened.

Well not me and my avatar.

That slice of watermelon got me right between the eyes. I suppose it could have been worse, though.

It could have been a whole watermelon!

It wasn’t malicious and no melee broke out. Buster, Big Man, Scott and his wife were blameless. But I’m an idiot. Totally clueless as to there even being a watermelon toss at my own convention. I apparently forgot to tell myself about it, and so I walked right into it.

SPLAT!

Paul (my Canadian identical twin who looks nothing like me) https://captainsspeech.wordpress.com/2015/06/05/paulos-kitchen-soup/ helped me to my feet—which because of the force of the blow, I got separated from—and he immediately sprinkled salt on me.

I thought it was for luck, but Paul told me it helps make the watermelon taste better. After all, he did bring the beer, pizza, and a moose. So who was I to disagree? Paulo, you’re the best!

By the way, the pizza and beer tasted great. However, the moose took issue with becoming our dinner, so we shipped it back to the Toronto to roam the city. Wild and free, as it should be.

http://www.picgifs.com

It was also great, trying (breathlessly) to catch up with Van, https://vanbytheriver.wordpress.com/about/ who as it so happens, never slows down. She was on her way over to greet Donna https://yadadarcyyada.com/2016/04/22/wish-you-were-here/ and Anxious Mom https://thatswhatanxiousmomsaid.com/about/ probably to reminisce over some of my older posts.

Hey, I can dream can’t I?

And looking across the convention hall I spied Aquileana,  https://aquileana.wordpress.com/2016/04/14/%e2%96%bahistory-the-greek-theatre-literature-aristotles-poetics-theory-of-tragedy%e2%ad%90%ef%b8%8f/ who has a beautiful sight on Greek Mythology and who was holding court with a number of other good folks.

Maja from http://travelingrockhopper.com/about/ Jojo https://theonehandedclap.wordpress.com/about/a-bit-about-lil-ol-me/ and Ally Bean https://thespectacledbean.com/2016/05/05/ally-ally-quite-contrary/ all having a great time.

So I headed over in their direction when out of nowhere, Blair http://theshamefulsheep.com/about/ came up and offered me a cup of punch saying “Paul, you’ve gotta taste this stuff!”

I took a sip… and pow! I went down like a ton of bricks.

Staggering to my feet, I was greeted by my friends, John, https://leonardcartoons.com/2016/05/04/work-party-196/ and Caz, https://cazthecomicstrip.com/2016/04/30/the-birthday-list/ they had been discussing the merits of comics and thought I’d be perfect for being in one.

“Can’t hold your liquor, huh?” They asked.

“I can hold my liquor fine it’s the punch I’m having trouble with. What in the world is in this stuff?” I asked.

That’s when they suggested I check out the punch bowl.

http://www.haikudeck.com

I found more than a few of you lying around there surrounding The Lonely Author https://thelonelyauthorblog.wordpress.com/about/ who was getting a Birdseye view of the ceiling at Caesars Palace.

Which I found rather odd, since we were all celebrating in the Bellagio.

But there too, lying on the floor, was Erika,  https://erikakind.wordpress.com/about-me/  and Maniparna, https://maniparna5002.wordpress.com/2016/04/30/wordpress-photo-challenge-admiration/  along with Masguatsen, https://thethoughtsandlifeofme.com/2016/04/26/happy-birthday-to-me/

Being me, I naturally asked a silly question…

“Having a good time ladies?” At first, I was met with puzzled looks. Then they turned to one another and smiled—while still laying flat on their backs—and raised their glasses in a toast to me… followed by lots of giggling.

I’d call that a big yes.

Then I got trampled by Peggy from, https://leggypeggy.com/2016/04/23/cienfuegos-and-the-one-night-stand/ Jan, https://jttwissel.com/2016/05/01/out-of-print/ Elaine, https://joyful2beeblogs.com/about-joyful2bee/ Juls, https://theindecisiveeejit.wordpress.com/2016/05/03/keeping-you-in-the-loop/ and Sandi, https://flipflopseveryday.wordpress.com/about/ as they raced by for that punch bowl.

Leaving me to wonder if I hadn’t started an AA meeting instead of a bloggers convention.

Still, what a hoot! After virtually shaking hands with as many of you as I possibly could (this time), I tripped over the cord to my virtual reality machine, and unplugged the entire convention!

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Probably for the better.

Our youngest daughter’s blog https://meliinthecity.wordpress.com/2016/05/05/so-you-think-you-want/ has helped to remind me that, not only has my blog become an oversight in the last month, but so have all of yours.

That means, I’ve neglected visiting your blogs, for far too long.

But not for much longer, as the In My Cluttered Attic road tour is about to begin.

So see you soon folks.

The Virtual Reality “In My Cluttered Attic Bloggers Convention” Goes Mobile

http://www.weidknecht.com

So far, we’ve had three wonderful days at the “In My Cluttered Attic” virtual reality convention here in Las Vegas. However, it got a little crowded on Monday at Caesars Palace. Tried to squeeze 3 dozen of us into their tiny 3,500 seat convention hall.

Then security thought my friend, Sarah, and her dog Choppy (a true master of disguise) https://travelswithchoppy.com/2016/05/03/bad-jokes-yoda-edition/ were trying to crash the party.

Then good old George https://theoffkeyoflife.com/2016/03/19/an-unexpected-surprise/ showed up with a class of second graders—George is a teacher. You see, when I said convention, George just raced right over with class in tow.

He’s suspected for some time now that I might just be a visitor from another planet—another universe, George. Its a long story. Anyway, I guess he didn’t want to miss out on the chance to meet us aliens. Security must have thought they’d put us over capacity.

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So that’s why we’re moving… across the street to… The Ballagio!

Well that, and the fact that Caesars asked us to leave.

Apparently, they were expecting us to pay for all those rooms and, not to mention the convention center.

And I want you to know how badly I feel about the forced march up the strip in our PJ’s after our eviction from the Palace—but our departure was rather sudden.

However, thanks to the wonderful help from Caesars security detail—and the Las Vegas police department—we made it.

Thanks fellas… we wouldn’t have done it without ya.

I didn’t worry too much about Susie Lindau https://susielindau.com/2016/05/02/dissolving-bone-wimping-out-and-shaping-up/ making it up the strip. She can probably ride her bike up Mt Everest if she chose to do so. Possibly run all the way to Reno if she had a mind too. I swear, nothing keeps that woman down.

Nor did I worry about Stephanae McCoy https://boldblindbeauty.com/about/ not making it up the strip, in spite of being legally blind. Steph can probably see all of us better than we see ourselves. And Tikeetha https://athomaspointofview.com/ well she’s tough enough that that big bad trip up the strip presented no real obstacle at all.

I did, however, worry a bit about my friends Jodi https://lifeinbetween.me/2016/05/04/happy-tulips-in-a-jar/ and Lynn from, https://lynzrealcooking.com/2016/05/02/palouse-colors/ as they had a lot of art, photographs, and food to haul up the strip for us to enjoy.

But that’s who they are!

Anyway folks, I think you’ll find the new accommodations here, more to our liking. This time I made sure of it, because it’s virtually paid for. And the desk clerk did promise to get our clothes back to us by Christmas. So all’s not lost.

Just our money, luggage, and dignity.

Nevertheless, I’m sure Bitter Ben, https://bensbitterblog.com/2016/04/29/2-legit-2-legit-2-legit-to-gif-tures-friday-bitter-giftures/ will let a few bitter comments concerning our ordeal show up in his Friday giftures to help ease our pain.

At least we got to pose for some pictures. Can’t say I enjoyed the profile shot all that much. Got my worst side. So I went with the other photo, although it makes me look like I haven’t shaved or ate in weeks. But it’s all about free publicity! Right?

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Still, I think I would have fared better if Cindy Knoke https://cindyknoke.com/2016/05/01/have-some-madeira-m-deah/ took our pictures.

She has so much experience with taking photos as she travels the world. In fact, her photos are so good, I’d be willing to bet that a photo shoot with her might deemphasize my nose.

Anyway, I hope you all have a chance to check out the fine “In My Cluttered Attic” merchandise, when you enter the hall.

I’m especially fond of the “In My Cluttered Attic” monogrammed caps. Now you too, can have a Cluttered Attic, just like mine!

Bet that put all your minds at ease.

Well, until the next update…”Stay thirsty my friends.”

 

 

 

Here’s To Exposing My Readers

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Welcome everyone. Welcome to the very first day of the “In My Cluttered Attic” bloggers convention! A celebration of those madcap bloggers who crowd into my attic on a regular basis making them the envy of insane asylum inmates everywhere.

(Imagine the applause coming from those padded cells)

I’d like to welcome all of you to the fabulous Caesars Palace here in Las Vegas, Nevada! But I can’t.

http://www.theblaze.com

BET you didn’t see that one coming?

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Yet, thanks to the world of virtual reality (and your imaginations), I can still give you the illusion of being here in Vegas. Just without the fabulous resort hotels, pools, casinos, shows, entertainers, delicious food, and luxury suites that make Vegas…well…Vegas. Otherwise… your practically here!

Now this probably leaves you with a few questions. Like, why am I here? What will I tell my boss when he finds out? Does my family know I’m here? And most of all; is it true what they say, that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?

Well not to worry as none of this is real—at least, not as far as you know. It’s all in your mind, I mean… my mind, or up in my cluttered attic where there appears to be no apparent exits. Not for five days, anyway. Making this… sort of a virtual reality bloggers convention getaway.

Now I realize that for many of you this is probably your first virtual reality trip, and you’re probably thinking to yourself…

“What in the world was I smoking that brought me to this, and how the hell do I get outta of here?”

Ignoring your concerns completely, I’d like to kick off this virtual reality convention by saying—as I look out onto your lovely faces, most of whom are reflecting a look of apoplexy at the moment—thanks to all of you, I actually have a reason to write and do a post today. So let me begin by just saying… thank you.

Now if I could direct your attention over to the gentleman in the second row about five seats in, we’ll get this imaginary convention underway.

You sir, yes you, the one with the bag over your head. That’s right. I singled you out to start this convention, because you’re the only one with a bag for a face.

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We’re all about humor here, and…

Bun? Bun Karyudo, is that you? Ladies and gentleman, a nice round of applause if you will for the one, the only… Bun Karyudo!

If only Bun could hear you applauding right now, then we’d all be here for real. But since we aren’t, Bun has to be wondering what that ringing is in his ears.

Bun hails from over at, https://bunkaryudo.wordpress.com/2016/04/23/el-capitan-making-the-upgrade/ and regularly engages me in hilarious banter that always leaves you and myself in stitches. Which ridiculously explains my rising medical insurance.

And there—sitting virtually next to Bun—is Allen Colane of the, https://thecolaneconundrum.com/2016/04/28/tv-shows/ whose comical insights also frequently leave me rolling in the aisle. Allen, if you would please, help me back up and onto the stage since it’s your fault that I am occasionally on all fours.

Oh look! Taking up the entire first row with all her amazing cats, is my long devoted good blogging buddy, Kate Crimmins, who has been visiting my blog almost from the beginning.

Her blog, https://coffeekatblog.com/2016/04/07/blogging-the-agony-and-the-ecstasy/ is a potpourri of humorous takes on contemporary retired life, consisting of trips to Starbucks, backyard adventures, and how her cats and their distinct personalities impact her and her husband, and their daily life.

And I just have to give a big shout out to the three distinguished looking gentleman in sombreros back there, who are signing autographs. I call them, The Three Amigos.

http://www.culturalist.com

All three gentleman have made regular pilgrimages to my cluttered attic, and offered kind commentary, right from my very first post on! Yes, I worry for their sanity, too. Still, I can’t thank them enough.

Thank you, thank you, thank you…

Mr. GP Cox at, https://pacificparatrooper.wordpress.com/2016/05/02/intermission-8-dr-seuss-the-troops-and-malaria/ who nobly reminds us of the sacrifices our men and women in uniform have made on our behalf.

Charles French, https://charlesfrenchonwordsreadingandwriting.wordpress.com/2016/03/12/favorite-horror-films-of-the-1960s-the-birds/ who is a voracious, reader, writer, and teacher and who consistently touches on a variety of interesting subject matter.

And my friend actor, comedian, director, and humble god-loving gentleman, Mitch Teemley, who can be found at, https://mitchteemley.com/2016/02/05/my-super-bowl-ad-2/

All three gentleman help make writing my posts very enjoyable… and non-profitable.

But they’re not alone responsible for my impoverished state. That’s why, starting tomorrow, I’m thinking of offering merchandise at the door for day two of the In My Cluttered Attic virtual reality convention.

Just think of it. Not only will I continue to recognize and salute more of you on Tuesday (for your regular visits to my blog), but I might even be able to fleece and take advantage of your wallets, credit cards, and life savings, too. That is, if I can get the card skimmers hooked up in time.

OH JOY!