WordPress, My Followers, And Paper Shredders

 

I know. It’s been a while since I last wrote about something, huh? So how’s this work again? Wait, I think I remember now.

I write this small (but tall) tale, one which no one else is able to identify with and I then delibrately change the direction of my story. This I do as a substitute for a plot twist whenever I’m working without a plot—which is practically every post.

I then infuse the narration with what I feel passes for humor—so far, 1,602 kinds and counting— and then the laugh meter say’s, no hits recorded.

Maybe it’s broke?

Still, I’ve published another post gets published, and that’s all that matters—unless you’re a WordPress employee in charge of making sure none of my posts ever see the light of day.

And, should one of my posts ever (accidentally) make their Discover page I suspect the employee put in charge of preventing that kind of fopah would probably attempt to leap off of a window ledge.

Possibly on the ground floor of his or her apartment, unless they live in a multi-story dwelling—then all bets are off.

That’s because, “Automattic” (the San Francisco office of WordPress) recently closed their doors. Seems their employees have been working from home so much of late that they didn’t need an office anymore.

Or, maybe it’s because so many of my posts have been seeing the light of day, so much so that WordPress felt they had to save face by closing their office doors.

I can dream, can’t I?

Nevertheless, I have had a few comments of late (too few to mention), saying how much I’m missed by my followers and that they hope I will soon write again.

As a result of this (encouraging) revelation, I am now conducting a thorough investigation to see if any of these wonderful folks are on my payroll—which might result in there getting a raise. That is, if I do have a payroll?

However, if they don’t happen to be on my payroll (still looking into that one), and seeing how much of what I do write about here (well all of what I write about here) barely passes for little more than a ridiculous take on nothing of consequence, I can only assume that these folks have an empty paper shredder in need of something to consume.

Hmm… could account for why my followers miss me?

Nah, paper shredders don’t get hungry… do they?

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