It’s been fun. But you know, it’s always sad when we have to say goodbye… except when it’s goodbye to pollution, terrorist, and bad writers. I wonder why that is?
Anyway, I wanted to say what a pleasure it has been doing this blog for all of you. I always tried to give you a good belly laugh. Remember that one, and what a belly laugh it was? At least a few of you got it. As for the rest of you, sorry about the dysentery.
But, here I am, writing to all of you one last time to let you know that the world is coming to an end tonight and that this will probably be my last post and testament.
The religious communities have been talking about it for months. I did my best to ignore it in hopes that the rumors of our demise were untrue. But, sadly, my wife went out and emptied our bank account, so the world must be ending.
She did it so that we could eat out in style one last time at McDonalds. Thanks to the value meals we’ll be going out with change to spare.
Ominously, all of this coincides with the arrival of a ‘Blood Moon’ signaling the end of the world as we know it. And let me tell you, this time the end of the world is going to be much worse than the last time the world ended.
Remember the end of the world the last time? What a huge disappointment that one was?
But, I think this end of the world is really going to make up for the last one. This time the end of the world comes during a lunar eclipse of a ‘Blood Moon’ and that simultaneously corresponds with a supermoon!
(It was here that the sound of crickets then filled the air. Chirp chirp… chirp chirp).
And no, I wasn’t at the gathering where when dreamed this one up—but it must be true. Do you know that some of the faithful are actually running out to grab all the food they can get just so they can survive the long haul?
Maybe they’re the other faithful… the ones that think god might not be on their side?
And since NASA say’s that this unusual eclipse is going to be visible to North America, Europe, and Africa I’m pretty sure most of us are gonna be pushing up daisies by Monday morning. With so many bogus prophets saying this is gospel, how can they go wrong?
Anyway, months of fruitful work of setting up, planning, and securing a theme for my blog have all been wasted.
Not to mention finding my voice and then purchasing a distinct comedy style of writing from another internet site that deals in that sort of thing.
And all for a modest fee—their words not mine.
The site guaranteed that their list of 500 comedy styling’s was completely original. I haven’t quite been able to to confirm that one yet, as they haven’t returned any of my emails or phone calls.
And to think I endured all those WordPress changes. And all for what? Just so we can meet our maker?
But either way, I don’t care if he is dressed in pink, and flying first class. and carrying a wand of destruction.
Because, as far as I’m concerned, this only proves what I’ve been saying all along; that the TSA is not doing their job! I mean, letting a guy like that get on a commercial flight to nowhere. What were they thinking?
So, I thought I should say goodbye to you all now, before the NFL Sunday Ticket starts. God knows I won’t have time later.
I’ll be too busy collecting my winnings, because I paid some guy to tell me what teams are going to win in every game this week.
I even got this etched in stone, stone cold lock of the week—for free!
So, buh bye… for now.