Monday October 31 had been a very long day. The doctor was locking up, but as he turned to switch off the lights he detected a Ghoulish presence in the room. No, not me, another ghastly figure. One wearing nothing more than a torn and tattered cloak.
I myself own a $9.99 windbreaker from Walmart.
“Can I help you?” the doctor asked. “No, I’m beyond help.” replied a depressed voice from the dark.
“Surely it’s not that bad.” replied the doctor to the voice. Gradually, the entity came into view. He set his scythe in the corner and began to pace (well… float actually) back and forth across the room. His head remained bowed as his bony fingers twitched. A deeply troubled soul.
“Would you have a seat or perhaps you’d like to lay on the sofa?” The psychiatrist asked.
“Lying on the sofa will do, thank you.” the Reaper replied “You see, in my line of work it’s usually the other away around.”
“Oh I see.” said the doctor knowingly.
“Do you really?” asked the Grim Reaper.”You have no idea what a joy it is to hear you say that doctor. It’s a terrible cross I bear. I run an unlicensed escort service, where all I do is collect souls day and night.”
“I can’t imagine.” said the doctor.
“Perhaps that’s because you have a license doctor. Hee, hee, hee” quipped Death. Then Death continued…
“Another thing doctor, I have no say in the matter either, I just go where he tells me when HE tells me. Ever try waking the dead doctor?”
The doctor shook his head no.
“Well just try waking up a teenager for school sometime. Same difference.”
“What about the working conditions, are they bad?” asked the doctor.
“The worst.” replied the wraith “I have to work in all kinds of weather, and with only this ridiculous robe for protection. Because, and I’m quoting—it’s expected of me!”
“I roam cold damp cemetery’s… usually in the dark. It’s amazing I haven’t caught my death of cold already, and me with no healthcare! The post office has nothing on me let me tell ya doctor.”
“How DO you do it?” the good doctor asked.
“Well you see, I fly… all the time. Fly all over the world. 24/7/365 days a year… no days off! Every time I step into an airport I attract the attention of the TSA. Being on time for a cadaver collection has become nearly impossible for me. So… I’ve put the TSA on borrowed time. And further more… ”
“Speaking of borrowed time Mr. Death, we’re on it right now. I’m afraid I’ll have to schedule you for another day. I’ll have my secretary set you up with another appointment. Shall we say… next Halloween?”