If You Want My Opinion



Have you ever noticed how people these days seem to have an opinion on everything? If you have then you’re one of the lucky ones, because most people tend to have more than one opinion.

So, how did multiple opinions actually start?

Well—and this is just my opinion—it all seems to date back to when the first patients went to go see a doctor for an opinion on their health, only to find themselves unhappy with their doctors diagnosis. That’s when they were told to go get a second opinion.

That led to a third, a fourth, and finally… a fifth—which they promptly consumed in one gulp.

After that, one opinion led to another, and another, and another PERSON… receiving multiple opinions. This, courtesy of people running amok, which I think is short for the mukluks all the opinionated were wearing on their feet while spreading opinions throughout the land.

And if this all sounds convoluted to you—well that’s your opinion. But that’s a good thing too, because now at least you have an opinion.

If—on the other hand—you have a high opinion of yourself, how are you able to hold that high opinion of yourself? I mean, seeing as you’re holding it on one hand, but not the opposite hand? And wouldn’t that mean you’re a terribly unbalanced individual?

Just a thought.

On the off chance you hold a low opinion of yourself… are you Mini-Me? Just curious, because I’ll stoop to get your autograph. hqg-52

“Well if you want my opinion…” Now there’s a statement!

Would you really want a second hand opinion? And another thing; why would anyway just give their opinion away? Could it be that it’s totally worthless?

Which leads me to ask. Have you ever thought what your opinion, or opinions might be worth on the open market, and could you get rich by sharing them?

I was once told by someone, that he wouldn’t give me two cents for my opinion. I thought about it for a moment and then replied,

“Okay, what if I were to make that ten cents for a dozen? That way you get 12 of my opinions for only a dime. You save two cents!”

I figured if money was going to be an issue here, maybe I’d better make a deal.

Also, I seriously doubted he’d give me his opinion for free, as he’d already said he wouldn’t give me two cents for mine. That made me wonder how much it was gonna cost me to hear his?

Naturally, I thought it good business sense to bundle a group of mine together at a bargain basement price, before he made me an offer on his I couldn’t refuse.

You know, this post has got me thinking.

Maybe I’ve become far too opinionated for my own good.




Ghostly Revelations


Do you believe in ghost? Come on, admit it, after you saw us in “Ghostbusters”—you believed, you know you did. And yet, sadly, for some time now, we ghost have had to do our business in the shadows.

No, I’m not talking about us going ass-goblens or whizzing when we have to void. As much as you may not wish to run into one of us—no autographs please—I expect you’d really hate to run into one of us during one of those moments. Talk about your going bump in the night… ew!

Ectoplasm is messy enough, thank you very much, and neither of us need that kind of ghostly encounter.

And let’s face it,— that would be really paranormal.

So you wanna know what has us pesky poltergeist burning the midnight oil of late? Paranormal investigators that’s what.

Another pet peeve? Well, I get so frustrated, when I see those current gas prices. Oh the money I could have saved if I hadn’t passed away.

But as I was saying,.. for centuries we restless spirits roamed cemeteries, castles, and dilapidated hollows in the fullhaunted house knowledge that we could scare up and give anybody the business—well now I guess we have.

Casper move over, things have gotten really spooky. In fact downright dead—the living wonder where we are, or if we have been spirited away? With all the noise those paranormal investigators make, I’m having a lousy night life, not to mention little sleep.

With paranormal investigations no longer a cottage industry, we spirits need not apply. We’re begining to doubt our own existence.

With “Ghost Hunters,” Ghost Adventures,” and “Paranormal Witness,” we’re in a “Paranormal State” of non-being. No longer is it we specters and apparitions doing the haunting. Instead it’s been guys like Jason, Grant, and Zak keeping us up late at night with ridiculous comments.

I love this one, “You can come out, you don’t need to be afraid of us.” like that would ever happen. You’re just damn irritating is all. Asking me to turn on a flashlight. How hard can it be, especially when you leave the top loose, besides you left the batteries in it.

If you really want to be impressed, take the batteries out and watch me light it up! And FYI… we don’t need to drain the batteries on other equipment to materialize. Did it ever occur to you that maybe we wanted to be left alone, particularly at all hours of the night.

It’s we astral-beings who have become the phantoms, and it’s because of you guys.

Bet you paranormal investigator’s are scaring up some pretty good cash right now too. And it’s not just you ghostbusters.

How about those guys who create the devices for you to hunt with, bet they’re scaring up plenty of business.

That ghost equipment probably cost you a small-mint, but no worries though, those TV executives can afford it, you’re making them money. Your shows are cheap to produce, low overhead means big profits. That kind of money was never lying around when I was alive.

EVP Recorder? Give me a small break will ya. All the voices on those things sound electronic, you try it sometime. On second thought don’t, you already speak in monotone. A laser grid for $100, hell you don’t need that for me to cast a shadow. All I need do is step between some light and a wall, and viola!

And a thermal camera for $500. Look, that ain’t me you’re picking up, I’m cold, or have you forgot—I have no blood dummy. And we ghost despise that spirit-box, and for $100? You were taken buddy, those things are totally worthless. They only produce the same sound as your radio would, if it were between stations.rip

If you guys continue making noise at all hours of the night we’ll not only get tired, we’ll never R.I.P.

You Have A Blog, Now What?


When you look around in your attic you never know what you might stumble across. Things you’ve forgotten about are bound to get uncovered.

So this is where my old antenna ball from Jack In The Box went! I can’t believe I still have that old thing. Not having a car with an exterior antenna anymore, I wonder how it got in here—between my ears?

Oh well.

Anyway, recently I started reviewing some old thoughts I’d stored up overhead—and aside from getting a headache—I managed to dust off that old notion of starting a blog.

That’s when I discovered WordPress has well over 100 million blogs already, and yes, their bloggers have probably written everything that’s worth posting.

Got me thinking: what can I hope to gain from such a folly as starting blog number 1,986,789-in section 12A of the WordPress Blogroll, other than just a chance to humiliate myself?

Financial reward?

Unlikely, especially when you consider so few bloggers make money from writing a blog—not even chump-change. Maybe I could claim momentary insanity for embarking on such a reckless undertaking as writing a blog—but I fear momentary probably has nothing to do with it.

With monetary gain now out of the question, what other possible reason could I have to start a blog?

I know!

A little article here and there, perhaps helping to put a smile on someones face after a very long day. Or possibly giving them a nightmare later tonight?

Wait! What if I attract one of those trolling grammarians—should I attract anyone at all—after posting an article with a dangling participial, run-on-sentence, or poor punctuation…etc?

Well, I suppose that could make the troll happy, but it might leave me contemplating possible suicide over the criticism. And me not getting paid for it!

Better not risk it?. But I’m committed—or I should be.

I know… I’ll share my opinion on matters of the world! But then again, what if someone disagrees with me, or takes um-bridge with my opinion—not to mention my using the word um-bridge?

What if they ask me what the word, um-bridge, means? I’d have to go and purchase a thesaurus, thus spending all my time looking up definitions and never writing a thing!

Gee-whiz, here I am at the keyboard wondering what to write about. God help me, and he probably doesn’t care either. Or is he… a she?

Controversy… everybody loves that subject. Do I really want to go there though?

So my blog will not make money, improve on the English language, or offer an opinion… and I’m hoping to avoid controversy.

What’s left to write about?

I think I now have a handle on the challenge every blogger faces. It’s called… the blank page—and boy is it daunting.