And The Winner Is?

So far, it has been one wild party leading up to this years award show. Let’s take a look at some of the performances given by our (HOPEFUL) nominees.

Actor Ben Carson:

His performance in “Ben Carson: The Force Awakens” showcases him as an accomplished retired neurosurgeon who writes books about himself.

He barely awakens one day to discover that he himself has become the star of a made for television movie.

Frustrated—because it stars Cuba Gooding Jr, and not him—Carson decides to sleep walk through Goodings’ performance playing a former angry ill-tempered child, who one minute claims he attempted to hit his mother over the head with a hammer, and the next, stabbing a friend for changing the channel on a radio.

Sounds like Presidential material to us.

Unfortunately, he can’t get anyone to believe his claims. This is surprising, seeing as it comes from a supposed politician—and they always tell the truth. Just ask George Washington.

Anyway, his character finally has a chance to boycott the presidential race (which would be very white of him given this years diversity issue, as he is the only person of color running for President), but he refuses to pull out of the race, causing the entire audience to snooze.

This film is only rated G—for suggested (but not real) violence. But, he could be the sleeper of the year—literally!

Actor Marco Rubio:

Rubio plays an (supposedly) attractive, yet unsympathetic character who gets excited at the idea of finishing in second or even third place, but who can’t seem to stop repeating himself in…

“Mad Marco: Fury Road.”

His character eventually goes into denial, unable to admit that he may not even be very popular in Florida—the state where he hails from. Here, he begins to feel irritated that he might never finish in first place—no matter what it is he decides to try.

The film concludes with him resorting to name calling, and referring to his enemy as a con-man.

He begins unraveling, ranting and raving angrily on a news program, flashing a fake smile when the interviewer thanks him for his angry tirade at the end of the interview.

Rubio’s performance ultimately reminds us, that childish behavior (no matter how old you are) is still not becoming of a leader who tries doing stand-up by shouting over his opponent. A good temper tantrum not withstanding.

Actor John Kasich:

John Kasich plays a once abrasive Governor, but who now tries out a more optimistic, upbeat snowball throwing, kind of persona. Only to discover that the real John Kasich is only hiding underneath the facade in…

“The Hunger Games: Mocking John Part-2”

Actor Ted Cruz:

In “Straight Out Of Canada” Ted Cruz, plays a Canadian Texan who passes himself off as an American Hispanic, and whose dad was supposedly from Cuba. The high point of the film comes when it’s demanded that he show proof that he’s an American citizen, and he responds… “Eh?” Will this be his Waterloo?

Some have suggested this is the part Ted was born to play. But, why not? He’s from Calgary, Alberta, Canada.


Actor Donald Trump:

In his long and varied career “The Donald” has never been more popular than he is right now.

But, is this matinee idols (in his own mind of course) performance enough to help him finally win? All critics will say is, “Cool Hair!”

After all, only Leonardo DiCaprio has waited longer for such recognition.

Trump, plays a successful business man who tries to alienate practically everyone in his bizarre attempt to  rise to power. He refuses to let immigrants, NBC, Macy’s, NASCAR, Great Britain, Muslims, John McCain, and even his own party stand in his way.

Not to mention Megyn Kelly in a surprise cameo!

Hated by virtually everyone on the planet, Trump— desperate to avoid discussing real issues (since no one else is either)—decides to appeal to the ignorant…

The Republican voters who he calls, “The poor and uneducated.”

When reports surface to support this assertion, he decides to go for broke and threatens to leave his own party to become king of America in…

“Mission Impossible-Rogue Nation”

Any one of these actors might tell you, “It’s just an honor to be nominated.” But don’t you believe it. Because, isn’t winning what this is really all about?

So enjoy the show, it’s only entertainment. This can’t be real politics…right?