Need Vs Want



Have you ever noticed how we never really get what we want, only what we need? We’re always left wanting something better. It’s like our current presidential election.

Here we’ve been given a couple of candidates from our two largest party’s (as if any other party stood a chance of ever getting noticed) from which to choose a president…


You would think that in a country as big as ours, there would be a much better pool of candidates from which to choose, right?

Is it too much to ask for a candidate who looks similar to (you can fill in the blank, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder), but who also has the brains of an Albert Einstein or a Judit Polgar.

I fear we’ve become like those women in the television commercials from some years ago.

Remember? They’d receive this beautiful watch as a loving gift, and then proceed to express disappointment by saying, “Well yes it’s a great watch (NOT), but what I really wanted was a Longines.”

What? You mean the Christian Dior is not good enough for you?

Only, we’re not getting anything quite the caliber of a Christian Dior here—no, not for this election. Maybe a watch you’d find in a box of Rice Krispies, perhaps. But a Citizen Eco-Drive?

Uh… no.

You see, it’s just not good enough to NEED something anymore, when what we really WANT… is something better.

Take for example: wanting a new car. But not just any car… a brand new Maserati! (Whaddya say, honey?)

Or let’s say your wife has recently told you that your nuts and need a new brain. Hey, what a coincidence! Anyway, you contact Princeton and inquire about purchasing Einstein’s.

A new washer and dryer? Sure, but can it come with someone who’ll do my stinky laundry too—and for free! Admit it, who wouldn’t want a million dollars? But then again, a billion dollars sounds even better.

Yes, I’d like to look like a Greek god, but I guess I’ll just have to settle for looking like George Clooney, instead. (Hey, why all the laughter?)

And think back to that Christmas morning when we were all kids. There our gifts sat under the tree. We couldn’t wait to tear through all the wrapping paper for that one toy that we’d yearned for all year long. Only to unwrap it and find… we gotten clothes, instead.

You thought to yourself: Is this somebody’s idea of a bad joke?

And that’s just like this presidential election. Here we are stuck having to choose between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

Dan of the Day

Are you kidding me? Please say it ain’t so?

See, what we really want (demand actually) is another choice for president. Surely there must be someone else from which to choose? Someone stable and not prone to speaking without thinking first. Someone who is honest and upright.

A politician? Ha, ha, ha! Yeah right. (dripping with sarcasm)

Come to think about it, though, maybe all those women wanting a Longines for Christmas wasn’t all that selfish a desire, after all.

Not when you put it in the context of what we’re all about to wind up with for a president come this January.


A Letter Addressed To Me At Age 100


Well hello there brand new centurion. So you finally made it to one hundred, did you? Personally (just between you and me) I can’t believe you made it past the age of ten. But, here you are.

The fact that you can read this with your own eyes (you are reading this with your own eyes, aren’t you?) is a good sign that some of your body parts are still working.

Remember, when you first started this project back in Kindergarten? You said that someday you were going to be rich and famous! Even then you were always going for the big belly laugh.

Oh sure as the years went by you may have flirted with the rich and famous, but fame always seemed to elude you—not to mention all the money and influence that goes with it.

That didn’t stop you though.

There was that time at age ten, when you tried to tell everyone you’d discovered Big Foot, living right next door. But, how were you to know that your next door neighbor would take offense to you calling him Big Foot… simply because he had size ten sneakers. bully

Live and learn though, right? At least the beatings only lasted through high school. Okay, so the broken bones were another matter.

But again, here you are at one-hundred; you always were a forward thinking kind of guy. And now its time to reap the benefits of a long life. That’s why you wrote to youself in advance, just in case you got Paulziemers and couldn’t remember your plan B—for getting rich and famous.

So, here are the plan B instructions just as you recorded them…

Keep track of, and record in writing, the names of all the famous figures, celebrities, and rich moguls of your time. Take special note of any peculiarities they might have, especially the more obscure traits that the public may not be familiar with, as these could produce financial rewards to me later in life.

Gather any fact, places they’ve been, where they’ve lived, and relatives still living (just in case), so that when the time comes to implement plan B, you can protect yourself, while still capitalizing on their past fame.

Then, as each one of these noted individuals passes away, you’ll have a detailed dossier to refer to in case your memory fails you.

Now, implement plan B—for you own fame and wealth!

Claim to anyone who will listen (especially the tabloids, gossip magazines, and shows like Inside Edition, and ET—they love that stuff) that you knew so and so way back when.

For instance (using the famous that are already gone as an example); try these on for size, “I was George Washington’s personal dentist” Who would know? And, “Abe Lincoln came to me for clever quips” You certainly would have been the go to guy with future presidential hopefuls.  george

How about this one, “I taught Albert Einstein everything he knows” as he is now gone, academic scholars would have paid to pick your brain. And my favorite, “Cleopatra and I… were secret lovers.” Why the rags of their day would be at your feet… maybe even make you Emperor of Rome!

liarArmed to the teeth with this kind of hidden knowledge, and with you now being linked to the past by your extreme old age, this information, if used discretely long after the rich and famous are gone, could make you a celebrity.

And those left alive (who are the same age) and who would threaten to call you a liar, would probably have dementia, or would just be happy that someone from their day remembers anything at all!

You’ll become world famous. Women will love you… asking you things like, “You and George Clooney hung out together… what was he like?” And the men will ask, “And what was that BIG SECRET—you gave to Steve Jobs?” clooney

Just think, you old geezer; now that your one hundred, you’ll be able to regale people with your fabricated stories… uncontested—so go forth (in your wheelchair), and make your fortune!