You unlock this door with the key to exaggeration. You’re about to embark on a wondrous journey—if you’re still smoking that stuff—of neither sight nor sound, and whose boundaries are that of imagination—albeit one gone stagnant. That’s the signpost up ahead, your next stop… The Twilight Zone.
Tap, tap, tap… tap, tap, tap. Click, click, click… Thump!
Meet Rufus T. Dingledosh a fictional blogger. What you’re reading above is the sound of his fingers feverishly striking keys on a keyboard in the creation of his next brilliant post.
Rufus T. Dingledosh, extraordinary blogger and fictional character who has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this post, because this blog doesn’t belong to him.
Instead, this blog post belongs to a man who has neglected posting anything until now that he might meet the demands of another humorous creative writing job—one which paid him.
I know I couldn’t believe it either.
Thus, he was off all last week. Last week? Let’s make that, THE LAST MONTH AND A HALF—just so he could make some money.
Makes you wonder what in the world was going through this guy’s head—not to mention into his bank account, doesn’t it? Well not to worry, I’ll leave that to your imaginations.
Anyway, when he finished that assignment, his desire for rest and relaxation resulted in his catching a malady known as… writer’s block.
But in a minute all of that will change as this blogger will discover a site sure to arouse his curiosity—LIKE THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN—a site not found on any browser known to man. A site found only… in The Twilight Zone.
And now for a word from our sponsor.
BUY… buy items from any sponsor of this blog, which at the moment appears to be no one. So become the first, won’t you? After all, wouldn’t you like to be responsible for my getting paid by the click? Why of course, you would.
And now back to our post.
Tap… tap… tap. Honey, I can’t think of a single thing to write about. I’ve already written about multiple things, so that subject is totally out of the question.
Have you tried Plinky.com?
I’d try Plinky, Winky, and Nod if I thought it would help. Wait a minute! How is it you know about Plinky? I mean you don’t even own a blog much less read anything on WordPress.
Sweetie, I’ve told you before… I know everything. I’m going out to the store, you want anything?
How about a million dollars… AND A NEW POST?
I’ll see what I can do. Bye sweetheart.
(Sound of the front door closing)
Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have an idea for a post right now. Guess I’m just going to have to check out Google. (Click!)
Wow, this looks interesting.
“Are you a blogger who’s run out of ideas? Wanna write about topics no one else has ever dared dream of? Have I peaked your interest yet? Still curious? Well, why not bare your soul and write like the Devil. Click on this icon and get under way right now. Discover blogging that’s out of this world! After all, what have you got to lose?”
Why not? I’ll do it! (Click!) POOF!
Back to our sponsor. Have you committed yet? Ad space is still available. “You have my word on it.”
Now back to our post.
(Sound of the front door opening)
Honey, I forgot my keys. Sweetheart? Honey? HEY, WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU?
Old proverb: Curiosity killed the cat.
A blogger has gone missing. A search is being conducted even as we speak. Was he a victim of pushing the panic button out of curiosity, or of writer’s block?
Perhaps a little of both.
But you and I know he’s still present and accounted for, filed away in another location. Filed away and listed as missing… in The Twilight Zone.