WordPress, My Followers, And Paper Shredders

 

I know. It’s been a while since I last wrote about something, huh? So how’s this work again? Wait, I think I remember now.

I write this small (but tall) tale, one which no one else is able to identify with and I then delibrately change the direction of my story. This I do as a substitute for a plot twist whenever I’m working without a plot—which is practically every post.

I then infuse the narration with what I feel passes for humor—so far, 1,602 kinds and counting— and then the laugh meter say’s, no hits recorded.

Maybe it’s broke?

Still, I’ve published another post gets published, and that’s all that matters—unless you’re a WordPress employee in charge of making sure none of my posts ever see the light of day.

And, should one of my posts ever (accidentally) make their Discover page I suspect the employee put in charge of preventing that kind of fopah would probably attempt to leap off of a window ledge.

Possibly on the ground floor of his or her apartment, unless they live in a multi-story dwelling—then all bets are off.

That’s because, “Automattic” (the San Francisco office of WordPress) recently closed their doors. Seems their employees have been working from home so much of late that they didn’t need an office anymore.

Or, maybe it’s because so many of my posts have been seeing the light of day, so much so that WordPress felt they had to save face by closing their office doors.

I can dream, can’t I?

Nevertheless, I have had a few comments of late (too few to mention), saying how much I’m missed by my followers and that they hope I will soon write again.

As a result of this (encouraging) revelation, I am now conducting a thorough investigation to see if any of these wonderful folks are on my payroll—which might result in there getting a raise. That is, if I do have a payroll?

However, if they don’t happen to be on my payroll (still looking into that one), and seeing how much of what I do write about here (well all of what I write about here) barely passes for little more than a ridiculous take on nothing of consequence, I can only assume that these folks have an empty paper shredder in need of something to consume.

Hmm… could account for why my followers miss me?

Nah, paper shredders don’t get hungry… do they?

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36 comments on “WordPress, My Followers, And Paper Shredders

  1. Your first post since I followed your blog!! Good timing as well since just earlier today I was wondering if you’re ever going to write again or should I just unfollow this dead thing. Should probably celebrate somehow. Lol

  2. Nice to see you back. I firmly believe in only posting when you have something to say. Or if you have the time and energy. Otherwise it comes off as posting just to post which might be a good policy for adding followers but not for keeping loyal ones.

    • Thank you, Jan. I agree with you. I love the comments I get back after every post, but who wouldn’t, right? They never fail to bring a smile to my face. However, if I found myself posting simply because I felt I had to do so then I think blogging wouldn’t feel all that fun, and perhaps more like a job, or worse, a chore. Of course, that’s my personal opinion and likely not one shared by everyone—and rightly so. In all likelihood, people will find a daily post can help create a group of regular followers and I suppose that can also be rewarding. But ultimately I feel blogging should feel like fun, whether someone does it to inform others, share poetry, photography, or events in one’s daily life. Myself, I love using my imagination to create and give folks a smile, and if I can find the time to do so every day, then so much the better. Jan, I want you, and everyone else who comes here to know that I appreciate all of your comments, and I certainly hope my little attic manages to give everyone a smile or chuckle as a means of escape from the everyday grind. 😀

  3. I for one sometimes work from home and would have a second story leap to my death from my office. Of course, there is that pesky garage roof right out the window, so I guess it would be more like a two foot stumble out the window, perhaps including an ankle sprain if I land wrong.

    • I know what you mean, Sarah. Don’t you just hate it when those pesky garage roofs impede a direct path to the bottom? Once I landed on a garage roof—WHILE IT WAS OPEN! Naturally, I thought maybe I’d been saved from my original (and completely thoughtless six-year old intention), that of proving that I was a superhero capable of leaping a tall building in a single bound. As it turns out, my dad saved me from the top of the garage door closing and my plummeting to earth while wearing a cape made out of only a mere bath towel. I learned my lesson, though, and one day I’ll be wearing a REAL CAPE when I successfully leap over the Empire State Building. See. I found out it doesn’t have a garage door!

  4. I’ve been rather busy the first 8 months of this year and so neglected my blogging duties… you’re not alone! I feel like I abandoned my writing… as you may know, I feel that writing for oneself is far more satisfying than waiting to be “Discovered”, so one day soon I will jump on the creative bandwagon again! Till then, still reading your blog posts with pleasure 🙂

    • Jojo, I was just thinking about you the other day and wondering what you’ve been up to. I’m with you, writing for yourself is truly satisfying and it’s always gratifying to see that others are entertained by what you write. My writing and my reading have both suffered of late. The great thing about having a blog of your own is that you can always go to it when you can and add to your posts when it’s more convenient. Plus, it’s always great to find out who hasn’t forgotten you, or that they look forward to what you write, and so thank you for those kind comments, Jojo. As for Discover, well… who are those people? All the same, I’m so glad to hear you’re well. :O)

    • Thank you, Masgautsen, it’s a relief to know folks haven’t forgotten about me, not that I would blame them. Yet I always try to write something at least once a month, if nothing else. Truly hope you’re doing well and that life is being kind to you. ‘O)

  5. What is this “Discover” page of which you speak? Is it yet another way in which kindhearted determined bloggers, such as ourselves, are being ignored instead of revered? Probably. Also, happy to see you back amongst the writing.

    • Well, Ally, I have my attorneys working on that question at this very moment (our six-year granddaughter needed something to do), and near as we can tell it appears to have something to do with possibly going to Disneyland for the very first time—you know, like experiencing a blog that’s lots of fun. However, after exploring WordPress (and the blogs they recommend as required reading) we’ve yet to discover anything close to that Disneyland like experience on their recommended reading pages. So, we’re gonna keep her working on this problem until we find one. 😀

    • Thank you, Mani. Regards that payroll thing, well I’m just waiting for my wife to give me a bigger allowance—since a dollar a month is just not cutting it. We’re currently in negotiations for her to DOUBLE that amount! I think it’s possible she’s going to cave into my demands any day now, seeing as I’ve not taken out the trash in a whole day. She can’t hold out much longer! 😀

  6. Those of us on your payroll miss you even more, especially since those last two checks bounced.
    Good to see you back…I hope that means my extra income will improve once again..:)

    • Hey, George! Sorry about the rubber checks but that’s my wife for ya. She said, that instead of foolishly spending money on a payroll for blog followers, golf carts for overweight tycoons, and a fully loaded man cave for me, that I should instead put the money on less ridiculous things like food, shelter, and a mani-pedi for her. Can you believe it… her calling my extremely important expenditures ridiculous? Not to worry, though, I set her straight and so I’ll be sleeping on the couch downstairs for the next few weeks—just to teach her a lesson. 😀

  7. Well, I was absent for ten months, so I am right there with you about not posting much lately. I actually removed all my old posts (though they are saved on my computer) and deactivated my account, I had so little time for posting. I was stunned two weeks ago to find the site (albeit empty) was still there as a “Free” account. So, I figured what the heck and reactivated. And surprised myself with how much I had missed being here. Not much on my site, yet, but it will pick up. It’s good to see you, friend. And, I’m sure your six year old grandchild makes a wonderful attorney! 🙂

    • Thank you, Carmen! I shall continue to do my best to keep the laughs coming—may all my writers return SOON. Oh, and let this serve as a lesson to all of you who doubted with resignation my—not quite but very nearly, and almost—return. You weren’t all named, Thomas, were you? 😀

  8. Missed you!!!. Good to hear from you!… Blogging can be exhausting at times… we all need a break, so nevermind about taking time for yourself… It is all about making connections, sharing interests and having fun, right!… have a lovely new season… xx 😀

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