A Post Found Only… In The Twilight Zone

Popkey

You unlock this door with the key to exaggeration. You’re about to embark on a wondrous journey—if you’re still smoking that stuff—of neither sight nor sound, and whose boundaries are that of imagination—albeit one gone stagnant. That’s the signpost up ahead, your next stop… The Twilight Zone.

Tap, tap, tap… tap, tap, tap. Click, click, click… Thump!

Meet Rufus T. Dingledosh a fictional blogger. What you’re reading above is the sound of his fingers feverishly striking keys on a keyboard in the creation of his next brilliant post.

Rufus T. Dingledosh, extraordinary blogger and fictional character who has absolutely nothing to do with the rest of this post, because this blog doesn’t belong to him.

Blogging Sensei

Instead, this blog post belongs to a man who has neglected to post very little on his blog of late that he might meet the demands of another humorous creative writing job—one which paid him.

I know I couldn’t believe it either.

Thus, he was off all last week. Last week? Let’s make that, THE LAST MONTH AND A HALF—just so he could make some money.

Makes you wonder what in the world was going through this guy’s head—not to mention into his bank account, doesn’t it? Well not to worry, I’ll leave that to your imaginations.

Anyway, when he finished that assignment, his desire for rest and relaxation resulted in his catching a malady known as… writer’s block.

Tap…

But in a minute all of that will change as this blogger will discover a site sure to arouse his curiosity—LIKE THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN—a site not found on any browser known to man. A site found only… in The Twilight Zone.

And now for a word from our sponsor.

BUY… buy items from any sponsor of this blog, which at the moment appears to be no one. So become the first, won’t you? After all, wouldn’t you like to be responsible for my getting paid by the click? Why of course, you would.

And now back to our post.

Tap… tap… tap. Honey, I can’t think of a single thing to write about. I’ve already written about multiple things, so that subject is totally out of the question.

Have you tried Plinky.com?

I’d try Plinky, Winky, and Nod if I thought it would help. Wait a minute! How is it you know about Plinky? I mean you don’t even own a blog much less read anything on WordPress.

Sweetie, I’ve told you before… I know everything. I’m going out to the store, you want anything?

How about a million dollars… AND A NEW POST?

I’ll see what I can do. Bye sweetheart.

(Sound of the front door closing)

Oh, what I wouldn’t give to have an idea for a post right now. Guess I’m just going to have to check out Google. (Click!)

Wow, this looks interesting.

“Are you a blogger who’s run out of ideas? Wanna write about topics no one else has ever dared dream of? Have I peaked your interest yet? Still curious? Well, why not bare your soul and write like the Devil. Click on this icon and get under way right now. Discover blogging that’s out of this world! After all, what have you got to lose?”

Why not? I’ll do it! (Click!) POOF!

Back to our sponsor. Have you committed yet? Ad space is still available. “You have my word on it.”

Dailymotion

Now back to our post.

(Sound of the front door opening)

Honey, I forgot my keys. Sweetheart? Honey? HEY, WHERE IN THE HELL ARE YOU?

Old proverb: Curiosity killed the cat.

A blogger has gone missing. A search is being conducted even as we speak. Was he the victim of pushing the panic button out of curiosity, or simply of writer’s block?

Perhaps it was a little of both.

But you and I know he’s still present and accounted for, filed away in another location. Filed away and listed as missing…  in The Twilight Zone.

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47 comments on “A Post Found Only… In The Twilight Zone

    • Thanks GP. God I miss the old black and white Rod Serling episodes—can’t ever picture them working in color—there was just something about them being in black and white that worked well in their storytelling process. Brilliant stuff.

      • And it’s not to say we don’t appreciate color (as we all do), but black and white has a way of conveying mood and shadow that is so different from color. Emotion appears more stark and dramatic, plus black and white can attract attention to a photo by it’s very shading and use of light. ‘O)

  1. Paul, you were clearly “in the zone” crafting this. As much as I loved all those fantastical Twilight Zone episodes I never, ever thought the real world would wind up being weirder. But here we are. (Joe Isuzu For President?)

    • Thanks you, Bruce. Boy did you ever get that that WEIRDER part right! Can’t believe we that we now live in a world where alternative facts have become the indisputable truth—OR THE NORM! “Oh! What a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”-Sir Walter Scott. Although, I’m almost certain this is not what Sir Walter originally had in mind when he first wrote that phrase. All the gratuitous smoke and mirrors, bait and switch tactics, and twisting of the facts now! Sure we’ve all been lied to by our politicians, but that’s one of their occupational hazards—THEE ONE! But now it all appears to be accomplished without the DECEPTION part! I mean, we can pretty much feel it in your gut when someone is lying to us (we’ve all done some lying ourselves at some point in our life. If we don’t believe that THAN WE’RE JUST LYING TO OURSELVES!), so we generally tell when someone else is lying, because we’ve all had a little practice at it. BUT… what we’re all witnessing right now will likely set pathological lying back centuries—MAYBE EONS! And yet, so many—although a minority of voters (Remember, the popular vote did go the other way. The ELECTORAL COLLEGE be damned—but maybe 3 million illegal voters can’t be wrong! Right?) seem to fall into P.T. Barnum’s supposed assertion, that “There’s a sucker born every minute.” I say assertion because even that assertion COULD POSSIBLY BE A LIE! Oh god help us—but if he’s smart even god will wring his hands of this mess! It’s very scary now. I guess we all—The Donald, his rural voting minions, and the rest of us urban voting liberals—lie in the power of the wicked one. I think that would be Satan? However, that could be a lie, too! What if it is, Vladimir Putin! Oh, we’re all living a lie! 😀

      • Yes sir Paul, I think we always knew we got a sanitized or homogenized version of the truth from our elected officials. That we could live with (wink, wink). But back then if you had video showing one of them doing something wrong they’d admit the gotcha moment and show the appropriate remorse, asking for forgiveness. Now, you can replay a video right in front of them and they’ll still deny doing it. Then…they’ll set out after you for some totally unrelated reason having nothing at all to do with the subject at hand. The new world order is disorder. 🙂

      • LOL that’s so true! Like Marx said, “Who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes.”—Okay, so that wasn’t Karl Marx—the fifth Marx brother?—otherwise, then that would suggest a communistic point of view. Would our own political leaders ever stoop to suggesting any kind of affection for Russia—whose enthusiasm for communism is so well documented? I seriously doubt it. Well, I think we can say no true American patriot would ever condone such a morally wrong point of view. Or… would… they? 😀

    • P.S. Boy would I welcome Joe (Joey) Isuzu as president right now. Wonder if we could compel David Leisure to run for president? Sure he was a pathological liar full of bluster, but I’d still buy what he’s selling over what’s being crammed down our throats right now. “You have my word on it.” 😀

    • I’m very happy you said that, Erika. I’ve been so out of the loop of late (blogging wise I mean, although, some might ask, “Are you sure you’re only out of the loop just blogging-wise?” But what do they know?) that I feel I’ve lost my blogging voice, too. Hopefully, the humor part returns soon. Otherwise, what’s the point in professing to be an author of a humor blog if it’s devoid of humor? Then there are those who would ask “Are you sure you’re the author of a humor blog, and if so, where is it? Fortunately, I’m a numbskull and all those ridiculous kind of questions just bounce off of my cranium and out into La La Land, and usually into another none winning Best Picture film. 😀

      • Haha!!! I think once your humor returns we cannot bear it since I am almost dying from laughing just reading your reply, Paul!! You are hilarous 😂

    • Am I ever grateful Rod Serling was a forward thinking kind of writer. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have his Twilight Zone blogging escape post template—obviously designed for bloggers (like myself) who neglect their blogs to go do silly stuff—like making money. For some odd reason, the wife thought scribbling my humorous thoughts down for someone else to use would be much more lucrative than using them in my blog. I know… where would she get such a ridiculous idea like that? Oh well, at least I’m back to blogging again, which (regrettably) means the world is not safe for my readers once again. All I can say is; thank god you guys love living dangerously, Jan. 😀

    • Dale, that’s a huge compliment to me, thank you.I LOVE Seinfeld! And thank you for the “a laugh was had!” compliment as well, because I wasn’t satisfied that I had done a decent job of planting the humor in the post. Seriously, I was actually struggling to infuse the post with my voice, or to put it another way—my brand of humor. Hope you and the boys are doing well, and I’m so happy you took time comment, too! 😀

      • Well it came through loud and clear for me! You did a more than decent job.
        Yes, thank you, the boys and I are doing fine. Working/school and stuff…
        Hope you are well too! 😘

    • Thank you, Steph. It’s true, I’d become so preoccupied with my other writing demand that I’d returned to my blog with nothing.
      That’s how big a blank I was drawing. Personally, I think you folks and your comments are what make this blog so entertaining for everyone else. That give and take is what’s totally priceless, let me tell you. I feel the humorous banter each and every one of you share is what make this blog so unique, and I truly love it! :O)

    • Oh alright then. Try to go out and claim writer’s block around here and everyone starts screaming write. You guys act as if I were a blogger or something. Oh, wait minute… I AM A BLOGGER—or something. I’m gonna get right on it. Thanks, Sarah! 😀

  2. I’m very jealous of the sponsorship you don’t have, Paul. It’s much better than the sponsorship I don’t have. It involves a photograph showing a non-existent product and everything. Anyway, while your wife is out at the supermarket, could she pick up a million dollars for me too? That’d be really helpful right now.

    • Bun, I’ve heard some terrible things about the kind of sponsorship you don’t have—you know, the photograph with the non-existent product… minus everything—just simply awful reviews. No money in it at all! Not to worry though, when I get back from wherever it is I am (Speaking of stars, this place where I’m currently at seems to be loaded with the suckers!) I promise to ask my wife to pick you up a couple million bucks, too. See there’s this odd guy down here—He walks around carrying a pitch-fork. Go figure, right?—anyway, he swears the millions are down on aisle nine the bottom shelf. But everyone here swears he knows what the hell he’s talking about. So, no sweat—well at least not yet. 😀

  3. I work for money now and have less time to peruse the blogosphere. Also, I’ve felt Twilight-Zonish since November something or other….

    So this post really connected with me!
    Do-do-do-do, Do-do-do-do!

    • Thank you, Joey. It’s so true, working a lot means other things get pushed onto the back burner. I enjoy blogging (I know you do as well) and discovering and reading other blogs, too. There’s a fun anticipation that comes from writing and commenting in the blogosphere. However, I’m also addicted to money and haven’t been able to kick that habit yet either. Unfortunately (at least for the moment), both my blog and money appear to be mutually exclusive—something having to do with people who have money not wanting to part with any of it on behalf of my blog—I know, go figure, right! Anyway, I wanted you to know I appreciate your zoniness (being afflicted with it myself), and am humming the same tune (do-de-do-do-do-de-do-do) right along with you1albeit from a distance. Oh sure I get some odd looks from time-to-time. Like, when I was recently humming it in a bathroom stall. But I always figured that was because there wasn’t a stall door at the time, or possibly because they just didn’t have a real appreciation for nostalgic television theme music from the 1960’s. 😀

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