What a day I’ve been having. I’ve been diligently working on fixing a special project of mine, but not my “Clutterland” amusement park idea.
According to my wife, that projects done. Something about our house already having become “Clutterland” and that I had a lot to do with it? Funny… I don’t recall building the park yet—or even starting it!
Frankly, I think she’s gone back to sniffing glue and hallucinating again, but that’s a story for another time.
Yet, all the same I figured if my “Clutterland” amusement park idea was indeed truly finished, then I had time to explore my other big idea. That of making… a time machine. At the moment a project I’m urgently trying to fix.
Now I know what you’re probably thinking. You’re thinking, “Paul, couldn’t you have gone and invented something less ridiculous than a time machine?” I did! I created this blog and that’s only slightly less ridiculous, wouldn’t you say?
Anyway, you’ll never guess what the biggest problem is in making a time machine? Finding the time to make it. Fortunately, I own a watch and what’s a time machine without a way to tell time, right?
So with the key ingredient for making a time machine already on hand (so to speak), I found the rest of the pieces just fell into place.
I won’t bore you with the details except to say, that with only 24 hours in a day to work on a project—and my working 8 of those for people with absolutely no interest in making a time machine that left me with only 16 hours to eat, sleep, and do my business…
And my wife informed me that she didn’t want me doing my business anywhere… but in the bathroom. Well that made perfect sense.
However, building a time machine has left me precious little time for anything else—particularly overdue projects my wife expected me to do. And what’s more; I’ve been wrestling with where I might go once this time machine was finished.
My wife had a suggestion where I might go, but that meant building a heat shield for the trip.
Her suggestion was not for a real popular destination anyway… too much fire and brimstone down there. Besides, I hear the place is full of undesirables with one fellow who likes to carry a pitchfork.
So I said, “To hell with the idea!” and she said, “Precisely!” You know, I sometimes think she can be really vague?
Anyway, in preparation for this, my very first trip, I watched every time traveler movie and TV show I could get my hands on. And during this preparation I made a startling discovery.
Did you know time travelers usually set their time machines to go back to disastrous events? Well they do.
I guess the idea being; if they set the time machine if they get there before the disastrous event happens, they might alter the outcome.
If only I could do that right now.
You see, long story short; I came in and the bathroom door jammed shut, and the bathroom window is way too small for me to escape through. Now I’m trapped in here.
And my time machine isn’t working.
Every time I set the digital coordinates for yesterday or earlier, it always comes up… Friday the 13th! Don’t suppose my wife could have accidentally preset the date and removed the key?
In any event—I’m not getting out of here anytime soon—and I think there’s a real nasty possibility of my running out of toilet paper.