Here’s To Exposing My Readers

Welcome everyone. Welcome to the very first day of the “In My Cluttered Attic” bloggers convention! A celebration of those madcap bloggers who crowd into my attic on a regular basis making them the envy of insane asylum inmates everywhere.

(Imagine the applause coming from those padded cells)

I’d like to welcome all of you to the fabulous Caesars Palace here in Las Vegas, Nevada! But I can’t.

BET you didn’t see that one coming?

Yet, thanks to the world of virtual reality (and your imaginations), I can still give you the illusion of being here in Vegas. Just without the fabulous resort hotels, pools, casinos, shows, entertainers, delicious food, and luxury suites that make Vegas…well…Vegas. Otherwise… your practically here!

Now this probably leaves you with a few questions. Like, why am I here? What will I tell my boss when he finds out? Does my family know I’m here? And most of all; is it true what they say, that what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas?

Well not to worry as none of this is real—at least, not as far as you know. It’s all in your mind, I mean… my mind, or up in my cluttered attic where there appears to be no apparent exits. Not for five days, anyway. Making this… sort of a virtual reality bloggers convention getaway.

Now I realize that for many of you this is probably your first virtual reality trip, and you’re probably thinking to yourself…

“What in the world was I smoking that brought me to this, and how the hell do I get outta of here?”

Ignoring your concerns completely, I’d like to kick off this virtual reality convention by saying—as I look out onto your lovely faces, most of whom are reflecting a look of apoplexy at the moment—thanks to all of you, I actually have a reason to write and do a post today. So let me begin by just saying… thank you.

Now if I could direct your attention over to the gentleman in the second row about five seats in, we’ll get this imaginary convention underway.

You sir, yes you, the one with the bag over your head. That’s right. I singled you out to start this convention, because you’re the only one with a bag for a face.



We’re all about humor here, and…

Bun? Bun Karyudo, is that you? Ladies and gentleman, a nice round of applause if you will for the one, the only… Bun Karyudo!

If only Bun could hear you applauding right now, then we’d all be here for real. But since we aren’t, Bun has to be wondering what that ringing is in his ears.

Bun hails from over at, and regularly engages me in hilarious banter that always leaves you and myself in stitches. Which ridiculously explains my rising medical insurance.

And there—sitting virtually next to Bun—is Allen Colane of the, whose comical insights also frequently leave me rolling in the aisle. Allen, if you would please, help me back up and onto the stage since it’s your fault that I am occasionally on all fours.

Oh look! Taking up the entire first row with all her amazing cats, is my long devoted good blogging buddy, Kate Crimmins, who has been visiting my blog almost from the beginning.

Her blog, is a potpourri of humorous takes on contemporary retired life, consisting of trips to Starbucks, backyard adventures, and how her cats and their distinct personalities impact her and her husband, and their daily life.

And I just have to give a big shout out to the three distinguished looking gentleman in sombreros back there, who are signing autographs. I call them, The Three Amigos.

All three gentleman have made regular pilgrimages to my cluttered attic, and offered kind commentary, right from my very first post on! Yes, I worry for their sanity, too. Still, I can’t thank them enough.

Thank you, thank you, thank you…

Mr. GP Cox at, who nobly reminds us of the sacrifices our men and women in uniform have made on our behalf.

Charles French, who is a voracious, reader, writer, and teacher and who consistently touches on a variety of interesting subject matter.

And my friend actor, comedian, director, and humble god-loving gentleman, Mitch Teemley, who can be found at,

All three gentleman help make writing my posts very enjoyable… and non-profitable.

But they’re not alone responsible for my impoverished state. That’s why, starting tomorrow, I’m thinking of offering merchandise at the door for day two of the In My Cluttered Attic virtual reality convention.

Just think of it. Not only will I continue to recognize and salute more of you on Tuesday (for your regular visits to my blog), but I might even be able to fleece and take advantage of your wallets, credit cards, and life savings, too. That is, if I can get the card skimmers hooked up in time.








109 comments on “Here’s To Exposing My Readers

  1. This is such a lovely way for supporting your blogger friends! Totally you, Paul! I have been to Vegas once and I can only say that I loved your Vegas version almost better…. not so many irritating blinking lights and I am home a lot faster… lol!

  2. Thanks for the shout out. Sure hope now that everyone knows about our friendship it doesn’t ruin our reputations! People may associate you with cats and me with….ummmm…..ummmm…..craziness!

  3. Well, this is very interesting but I have not heard any of the history or performing stars in Las Vegas,or the biggest hotels. Are you really in Los Vegas?? See what you have done to me! You have made me turn into a very strange person after reading about your letter to the aliens! LOL.
    Looking forward to meeting more of your followers.

    • LOL. But I do understand, Elaine. So many of my other followers have also complained of experiencing symptoms of strangeness after reading that post. Naturally (not being a doctor), I dismissed their concerns, and failed to tell them to take to aspirins and call me in the morning. Well, you can imagine my surprise, when I awoke the next day to read in the papers about a worldwide outbreak of strangeness. I had no idea my readership reached so far! So I immediately decided to enroll in medical school so that I might one day go to work for the WHO (not the doctor), so that I might one day help wipe out this epidemic of strangeness that befell mankind, on account of me.

  4. Great way to introduce your friends. I know Bun Karyudo, yes, the first gentleman with a bag on his face. He writes wonderfully and I totally enjoy his writing. 😀
    I’ll try to visit other mentioned blogs as well… 🙂

  5. Do the people you mention get comped for anything while they’re at this convention? Buffet? (Not Jimmy) Room? (The pay by the hour kind)Chips (and dip)? Is there a dress code for this convention? I’m really curious about the ground rules. Isn’t everyone?

    • Well George, as you’ve probably guessed by now, dress at my convention is optional. But, if you’d like to where one— seeing as this is such a serious group—I won’t stop you. We could use the laughs. As for Mr. Buffet. I invited him to join us, but he decided to go eat everything in sight over at the Rio. Wouldn’t be surprised if we didn’t run into him somewhere on The Strip consuming margarita after margarita. This town is great for complimentary items, though. Why last night alone, I must have encountered no less than a hundred people on street corners, trying to hand me free pamphlets to their clubs. I don’t no what they got in those clubs, but I’m guessing it can’t be all that good. Otherwise, why would they just be giving it away? 😀

  6. Paul, what an honor to be invited to this convention. I don’t even mind that there’s only decaf coffee in my room, or that the bar of soap is the size of a quarter. Everything is bigger in Vegas, except for my checkbook, which is notably smaller.

    Much appreciated! I’d help you up onto the stage, but I helped myself to some free cocktails back in the casino.

    • You’ve got that right, Allen. The rooms are indeed grand and all, but who needs the quarter size soap or cheap decaf coffee pouches, when what the resort hotels really encourage us to do, is to get out and pay top dollar for a latte at the Starbucks in the lobby downstairs. That way we can’t pass up slipping in and out of all those upscale stores in the halls leading from the elevators. By the time I reached the Starbucks next to the pool, my wallet was empty, and I was sitting on the ground holding a used cup from a trash can with a sign that read—Can a you spare a dime? Can’t afford a cup of coffee. Not to worry, I was able to crawl back up to the stage. So that was you I saw dancing near the roulette table with a lampshade on your head! 😀

      • That *might* have been me, but what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. I do try not to make a habit of dancing with a lampshade on my head, but when I’m at Vegas (or at a wedding with free alcohol), then there are no guarantees!

  7. Paul, you have put me in great company here – thank you. I know quite a few of the honored guests, but I’ll check some others between hitting the buffet and a hand or two of Black Jack! Cheers…

    • Uh… Scott, I was wondering. Would you mind maybe accepting some potato chips as a thank you gift, instead. I didn’t do too well on those slot machines last night. In fact… I think they might be a bunch of bandits!

  8. I want to know where my chocolate is hiding? I checked the pillows..nothing.even looked in the imaginary fridge that is comped to this dratted imaginary room….nothing. I found a lovely fruit basket but it was addressed to another blogger entirely. The invitation to this convention said NOTHING about room sharing…I want my money back unless I get chocolates immediately..preferably sent up by a pool boy with great abs and no brain!

    • I want my money back, too. Those casinos tried to clean me out last night! Suze, I think may have just (unwittingly) made a major investment in this town. Now that I’m broke, do you think you might reconsider and let a recently cleaned out homeless convention speaker, with a slightly expanded (okay, largely expanded) waistline bring a (single) chocolate mint up to your room. I think I can safely say that the no brains part goes without saying. Oh, and sorry about having you share a room with Bun, but he was with me when we got cleaned out. I know. He snores, right? I heard him, down the hall…three floors above!

  9. Hey, thanks very much for the big mention at the bloggers convention. I’m sorry I got here so much later than everybody else. First, I got stuck in traffic and then I had trouble turning left at the big, black lake shown on the map. Stupid coffee stain!

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