Help Wanted: Hare, Ham And Egg’s Oh My!


Hey, it’s almost April folks. Do you know what that means? It means that people the world over start thinking about things like spring, baseball, planting tulips, and Passover. But not me. No sir. Instead, I start having visions, visions of Easter, and boy do I have a few thoughts on that subject.

Good thing too, otherwise this post would be a bust.

Take for instance, Jesus Christ Superstar. The one who refused a standard movie studio contract, shunned publicity, and then went rogue. And to think that that’s “The Greatest Story Ever Told” and this blog can’t touch it. And you wanna know why?

Copyright laws. That’s right, and not just any copyright laws, but copyright laws of biblical proportions!

Then there’s those Easter eggs. No, not those Easter Eggs silly—more about those in a moment. I’m talking about those other Easter eggs, you know the ones… the Faberge Imperial Easter Eggs. The jewel encrusted ones made for the emperor and empress of Russia, way back when. Yeah, those Eggs.



For some stupid reason I never got one of those at Easter time. What a gyp that was!

And that brings me back to those other Easter Eggs, the ones I mentioned earlier. Did you know that when I was a kid, the (slightly) above average kids would always get Easter Baskets filled with multi-colored plastic eggs in them?

Well now you know.

Anyway, they never failed to be filled with candy and toys. A U.S. version of AA grade Easter eggs perhaps?

Then there was the average kids. Those kids whose parents took time to dye shells of real eggs in different colors. Then these parents would go hide them for their kids to go find? I suppose they were the Easter version of U.S. Grade A eggs. Then there was me. All I ever found were the egg shells!

I’m almost certain they were low grade eggs.

Still, I love to think back to Easter and the ham. No, not Jim Carrey (the ham), hamming it up in “Batman Forever” as the Riddler. I’m talking about those Honeybaked ham’s that your mom used to bake on Easter Sunday, the smell of which was as delicious as the taste itself.

And naturally, no Easter post would be complete without mentioning the big guy himself.

But enough about Me.

Let’s talk about the Easter Bunny, shall we? That famed pooka of lore.

One day every year, he travels around the globe hiding colorful looking Easter eggs for all good little girls and boys to find. Adults? Forget about it. Anyway, most of the time they find lots of candy inside, and occasionally they come across one with a toy.

But, every once in awhile they might find one filled with money. Yeah, guess the yoke’s on them.

I’ve often wondered how one would go about getting a job like that—particularly if one were a rabbit? What might one earn? Does one need references? Where would one get those references—especially a rabbit? And could I be one—a rabbit I mean? I like carrots, eat lots of lettuce (my mom and dad made me), and my wife say’s I have big ears.

Now I ask you; what other qualifications does one need to be the Easter Bunny? So yes, I’m going to answer that help wanted ad when the position opens up. In the meantime…

Have a Happy Easter everyone!







74 comments on “Help Wanted: Hare, Ham And Egg’s Oh My!

  1. If that’s a self portrait, I say you’re a lock for the job. Ever think about making a dual appearance with the Big Guy, that way you can cover all bases on Easter and maybe pull in a few donations in one of the biggest collection days of the year. Something to consider for next year..:)
    Happy Easter, Paul..:)

    • I feel like you do about it, George. In fact, I’m so sure I’ll get the job, I started trying to grow me a bushy tale. You can’t believe the amount of Rogaine I’ve gone through while trying to grow me one on my behind. You know, I think I’ve probably wracked up more debt with the Rogaine people than some college student’s do with student loans, and still not one hair to show for it. However, I figure it’s only a matter of time before my buns get covered like a Redwood forest. Happy Easter, George. :O)

  2. “Easter is just like like Halloween. Both of them have candy and scary creatures. The only difference is that our parents trained us to think an enormous rabbit with gigantic teeth who lays eggs is somehow cute instead of dangerous.”

    • I know what you mean, Paul. However, when I’m hired as the new Easter Bunny, I’ll work hard to change that image. First of all, I’m only 5’9, not diminutive by any means, but not an NBA center either. Without my flip-flops on I easily become 5’4. As for the eggs, I’ll go to the local Target store—I hate child-birth, particularly since I’m a male bunny. Lastly, I just made an appointment with my local dentist to get those teeth filed! 😀

  3. Easter is often so odd in our neck of the woods because of the variable date it can fall upon. Sometimes the sunrise services feature snow, sometimes it is sunny and 70. I sometimes think people are more “into” the holiday a bit more if nice weather has also resurrected rather than just that other Big Guy. As for the Easter Bunny, who doesn’t like a dude placing chocolate all over the place? It would be an honor to serve as a reference as you would obviously be an eggcellent choice.

    • Thank you, Erika. This being an election year I decided it better to run for the office of Easter Bunny, especially when I realized Politics already had someone providing lots of laughs. With Easter—sometimes considered a solemn occasion—I felt Easter could use the laughs, too. Hope it’s a Happy Easter for you too, Erika. :O)

  4. BIg ears are definitely a requirement for the job – not sure about that red nose though. Doesn’t the Easter bunny have a pink nose? Happy Easter!

  5. In sincerely hope that you will eliminate the Easter Bunny creepiness factor. My grandson freaked out when he went to see the big guy, hence no pictures for 2016. I hope you had a nice Easter Paul.

  6. The Easter Bunny has to travel the globe in a single day, reward boys and girls and like carrots. I hate to say it, Paul, but I’m pretty sure Rudolf is going to get the gig. I mean, the powers that be are going to want someone with experience, right? Of course, that means a vacancy will open up in the sleigh team for a cheery soul with a bright red nose. Hey, wait a minute…!

  7. Yeah, guess the yoke’s on them. – you make me laugh. 🙂

    I haven’t talked to you in awhile and I miss you. I wasn’t blogging with all my moving. I’ve been doing short posts for A to Z challenge while trying to unpack (as little as possible – which is still a lot) because I have to pack it all back up again in 4.5 months. (ugh)

    I just like playing with boxes, and packing paper, and bubble wrap (oh, my!) It’s so hard to stay focused on task! Easter was spent at the hotel. “special delivery” baskets were received at the lobby for the kiddos. (where was my delivery, huh?) I feel I got the shaft on that one! (no fair, I say!)

    • Hi Sandi. Sorry for such a late response, but I was away. Glad was at least able to provide you a smile, and I’ve missed you too. I understand, though,I always hated moving. It always seemed worse once we arrived at our new location—boxes would sit unpacked for months in the garage. But then my wife would go for the whip and it was truly amazing how quickly they got empty. Go with me on this—bubble wrap is a great stress reliever. Sorry your Easter was spent in a hotel, though. Hang in there kiddo, I think things will improve soon. Yeah, I know, easy for me to say—since i don’t have to unpack those boxes. ‘o)

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