Welcome To The First Friday Of 2016

First of all, please ignore the post date of—JAN. the 2nd—that’s just WordPress trying to be funny—note I said…trying. The actual post date was Friday JAN. 1st.

I know this to be true, because I posted it at the end of the Rose Bowl game.

Apparently—at least according to WordPress—the game is no longer played on New Years Day!

Anyway, last January I decided to explore the INNER workings of a cluttered mind—MINE—by way of a blog.

I thought this would be better than writing about what’s usually ON my mind—that of hair follicles and scalp treatments. Something the FDA (The Food And Drug Administration) has seldom approved I write about.

Normally, such an epic scatter-brain journey to nowhere would beckon me to take notes. But, that kind of idea often requires a more organized thought process—and my cluttered mind is not generally known for that kind of thing. So instead, I opted to try doing a blog.

I felt posting on my new blog—semi-regularly—would connect me with an eclectic group of followers equal to my affliction with chaotic thinking. Yet, nothing could have been further from the truth.

Instead, what I did collect—as follower’s—proved to be the remaining highly intellectual few, who still happen to be in possession of their own faculties—alarming to most members of academia.

Oddly enough, they also seem to share a silly bent for ridiculous humor.

This has made for some regularly comical back and forth commentary from my many readers—who I like to call… the chosen few.

Their often hilarious responses to my ludicrous posts, tend to enhance my own simpleton style of writing.

None of which (for the obvious reasons) have yet to be collected together in such prestigious Ivy League School libraries—as Princeton, Harvard, Yale, and Dartmouth.

But, I feel it only a matter of time before some third world country see’s the value of my posts, and haphazardly gathers them all together into one of their own non-suitable library collections.

Thus, sparing society from a fate some doomed WordPress readers failed to avoid.

So, after having had a very busy Holiday Season—whereby I added several inches to my waistline while doing precious little writing—I decided to dispense with any 2016 New Years resolutions.

I probably would have abandon them long before February, anyway.

Instead, I have decided to start this January by reading more of your blogs, while continuing to eagerly read those blogs whom I already follow on a regular basis.

Of course, I’ll continue to try and write more incoherent ramblings for my poor misdirected readers—who unfortunately fell into this void left by the ever changing WordPress hierarchy.

And to those loyal folks who do follow me, I’d just like to say…

Thanks for getting stuck here folks!








66 comments on “Welcome To The First Friday Of 2016

  1. Golly Moses – are we all in some kind of WordPress Purgatory? Could be. I’ve been infected by a five year old and can hardly think beyond snotgrass city. May be well by February! Take care! And onward. It’s the only way we can go.

  2. Ever-changing WordPress indeed. I originally started toying with WP back in 2007 and over the years have “fond” memories of going in to do a post and saying “um, where do I begin.” You know what companies do when making a change they know is going to drive their users nuts and cause them to literally relearn how to use their services…they roll out the classic line “We’re making these changes because YOU asked for them!!!” I don’t know if WP has actually used this lie or not but it wouldn’t surprise me. I directly was affected by two entities in 2015 who told that lie; Wegman’s when they completely reconfigured their grocery store and people were running into each other for months thereafter because they couldn’t find a thing…and a bank account that sent a fourteen page document which boiled down to raised fees and penalties across the board for all. Yeah, because WE asked for all that. Right. Anyway, I resolve to have no resolutions aside from hoping everyone visiting or living in the Attic in 2016 has the best year EVER…because I asked for it!

  3. Don’t get me started on WP. I get something figured out so I can whip through it and they change it and it takes 10 times as long to do it. Bah WordPress! No intelligence needed for that post LOL!

  4. I don’t know how I found you. It probably had to do with tequila in a Mexican bar. Oh wait, I haven’t been out of the country….I think! WP is a sore spot. I lost the word count in my reader so I can’t tell the long posts from the short ones. Boogers. An it has seizures. However, I am sure there are more cobwebs in your attic that will intrigue and inspire (maybe inspire is a stretch…it will certainly entertain and amuse). Do you ever try on your granny’s dresses? Isn’t that what’s usually in attics?

    • Shhh…that’s top secret stuff, Kate! I thought only my wife new about that. Although, I do think I’ll never fit that size 6 again, not after this holiday season! And who would have ever thought that just a few shots of tequila could make us forget we were wearing those silly sombreros while dancing on that table in that Mexican bar. I never thought I’d see the day you’d try to pull that one off. Juan said, that’s a night he’ll never forget—he’s the one you drank UNDER the table. 😀

  5. Life Is A Journey,
    But My Best Wishes Are The Milestones
    That Will Give You Hope
    And Motivation To Move On.
    Am Wishing You A Joyous New Year!
    With warmth, love and blessings from MiddleMe to you and your readers.

  6. If all our blog posts do end up in an Ivy League library, I trust they’ll contribute to the betterment of society. Future scholars can use them for intellectual fodder in rousing, academic discussions.

    Or maybe they’ll use them to mop up spilled beer at a fraternity party. In either case, our work will remain useful and relevant — and I guess that’s what’s really important.

    • Your so right, Allen. I’ve even given some thought to the idea of negotiating a deal with Delta Northern to transfer all of my posts to toilet paper rolls—4 ply of course. That way, any time someone in Delta Gamma Pi needs something amusing to read while seated on the throne, all they have to do is unspool one of my rolls of toilet paper and read. At least it will give new meaning to the phrase “He’s so full of it.” when reading one of my posts. 😀

      • You know, I might need to try that idea myself. Though I’m not sure my posts are worthy of 4-ply. I’m probably more of a tissue-thin, two-ply writer.

        In any event, it gives more meaning to the term “an unspooling story.” 🙂

      • And it beats writing graffiti on the wall. It seems my permanent markers always run out of ink before I can finish any of my thoughts—even after giving up tthe practice of using four letter words like luck or spit.

      • It’s always startling when your wall graffiti changes colors mid-stream. People think you’re trying to make some sort of artistic statement, but really, it’s because the market ran out of ink. It makes me blurt out unsavory words like “spit.” 😉

  7. Perhaps the writings are not being collected because there are bigger things in store. I was thinking a new religion, but chances are that would quickly devolve into a cult, and those seem to end rather often in drinking of Kool-Aid with unfortunate side effects.

  8. I truly have no clue how I found my way here, and I’m a shiny newcomer, but I’m intrigued, and my interest is piqued, and … well, I can’t think of any other words that use a “u” right now, so I’ll just say … Happy New Year!

  9. I’m a little bit worried that for sometime I have misled you and I feel that now, this New Year of 2016 I must tell you the truth and set the record straight. I am truly sorry for my deceit and I hope you can forgive me….I am……..not………….highly intellectual, I’m as thick as three day old custard, can you still be my friend or must I pack my little virtual knapsack and leave…..banished?

    • Nonsense, not to worry Juls. Every once in a while some less than intellectual types have actually gone to the trouble of sneaking into my blog site. I’ll let you in on a little know secret (whispering)—that’s how I became the Chief Executive Officer of this blog! But, better keep that under your hat, wouldn’t want anybody thinking the site’s run by a complete numbskull. 😀

  10. Very happy to be stuck! My brain is slightly not working today so I can’t come up with anything funny to say- BUT I do love our back and forth commentary and I love reading your bizarre and hilarious stories/rants! If I were a 3rd World country (and hopefully I will be one day- certainly all of the extra goodies I ate over the holiday has qualified me to at least a very small country’s status- like Andorra or Vatican City or something) I would totally collect your essays in my Library. (Of course my library will also contain a huge collection of Archie comics, so I can’t vouch for the credibility of my collection choices.)

    • I vaguely remember seeing you on the map—somewhere between Latvia and Lithuania. But, I’m sure someday you’ll abdicate the throne by losing all that mass on America’s Biggest Loser, and surrender your country to the smaller, Belarus or Ukraine. Then when Emperor Putin conquers them—and raids your third world soon to be extinct library—that will be that, and no one will ever remember the smallish country called Sarah, and my treasured and much coveted posts will lost forever somewhere in Siberia!

  11. The insanity of your writing keeps many of us sane, Paul. It’s good to know there is another life force out there that speaks the language we can’t always articulate as well as you do..:) that being said, I believe those Ivy League snobs have never appreciated real genius. If they had, you would not only be in their libraries but teaching courses on a variety of alien subjects that most of their students would have difficty comprehending.
    So…while I’m late responding due to the holiday break, I’m glad your contract has been renewed for another year.😊

    • Thank you, George. As you probably no doubt have not heard yet, our youngest daughter is employed by Columbia University. Naturally, the President of the University—The honorable, Lee C. Bollinger—had no idea that I was her father, and also the renowned author of “In My Cluttered Attic.” Upon his catching wind of this, he probably wanted to include my name on one of the walls of the Butler Library. Of course, in the name of fairness, I couldn’t possibly accept his kind offer—should he make it, which is probably only a formality now—because, it would likely overshadow those lesser known names already chiseled into those hallowed walls. Names like; Plato, Aristotle, Milton, and Voltaire. I couldn’t possibly let the light of my name—bright as it is now in the literary world—blot out their lesser significance. Besides… none of them ever attended there, anyway.

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