I Really Have Got To Catch Up On My Reading


For the last three days, I’ve been busy entertaining family and friends. When you consider I have virtually no talent—my wife says’ there’s no virtual about it I just have no talent at all—it was amazing!

There our relatives politely sat—for 72 hours—trapped on my sofa, while I performed my song and dance routine. After they left, I asked my wife “Well, how was I?”

She responded, “I haven’t seen facial expressions like that since my brother told me he was going to have to have all his teeth extracted—and without Novocain!”

I must have been better than I thought.

Anyway, this pleasant little weekend detour (plus one), has forced me to get busy and catch up on my work this morning—if only to receive a paycheck. Of course, this forced us to miss out on acquiring that nice little airy unfurnished property that we were eyeing underneath one of our local overpasses.

But, my wife doesn’t seem to be too distressed about it.

However, because I had to perform this weekend and help out the employers too—who are so needy—I had no choice but to avoid catching up on my reading.

And that made me think; when someone says they have to catch up on their reading, I wonder what reading they’re actually talking about?

I sometimes wonder if they’re referring to that 5000-page textbook they’ve been avoiding all summer? Or maybe they’re talking about their attorney’s brief on that impending plea deal he’s planning on their behalf, in order to get them off of a murder conviction.

Perhaps they’re avoiding having to read those divorce papers issued to them on behalf of their ex. Then again, maybe it’s the volumes of paper sent home with your child, explaining all the school rules your kid has to adhere too in order to avoid serving more than a one-year sentence—say like… summer school.

I mean, I find it hard to believe they could possibly be talking about reading a novel by a popular novelist who could care less about them. Or who couldn’t be bothered to take the time to send a personally autographed copy of said novel to them?

That’s right, I’m talking about you, Ernest Hemingway! Refusing to respond to my request for an autographed copy of  “For Whom The Bell Tolls” is only going to result in my not buying another one of your books. So think about it, will ya!

But as I was going to say, when I tell you that I have to catch up on my reading I’m always referring to you folks and your blogs.

When I feel compelled to do a song and dance routine for relatives who are about to have all their teeth pulled, instead of reading a post by you, or go bail out one of my employers by doing them a favor (because they can’t conduct business without me), you are the ones who suffer.

So my eyes are about to get busy reading all you’ve written this last weekend. And just let me say; after seeing the volume of work you’ve done—I think reading the Bible all the way through…might actually prove to be a faster read!


22 comments on “I Really Have Got To Catch Up On My Reading

    • Thank you, Kate, I knew you’d understand. Its just so hard to get relatives to understand their place in the pecking order. Oh well, it’s still a cross I have to bear. I’ll get through it… somehow (deep sigh). 😀

  1. I’m curious…did anyone tape the concert you put on over the weekend or the lukewarm response you received from those ungrateful relatives who apparently cannot appreciate your many talents? Cause that would be very entertaining to watch…in a seriously artistic way.😊

    • Now that you mention it, George, I think “So You Think You Can Dance” may have recorded it for posterity for others to study and learn from. Of course my expertise wowed Nigel (who requested an audience). Not that I’m letting all his praise go to my head (he seemed remarkably quiet throughout), or anything like that, but I think you have a point about relatives. They’re such a jaded lot, always expecting a show for free, because of being related they feel they shouldn’t have to pay. There was only one casualty, my wife’s priceless Ming vase. But, I’ll just run down to the local Walmart and pick another one up from their home furnishing aisle. :O)

  2. Ughhh entertaining family and friends can be so hard! I always do weird things with my face and just hope they appear normal, but I never can tell. I’m forever asking my boyfriend “Did I seem normal to you?” whenever they go to the bathroom!

    • I know exactly what you mean, Sarah. Oddly enough, my family was actually fighting to get into the bathroom. I realize I gave a 72 hour performance, but Uncle Rick wouldn’t come out and give anybody else a chance. My daughters said it was like trying to get into the ladies room during a Rave concert! 😀

  3. So funny you are, but seriously, getting behind in your blog reading is not acceptable! I am so far behind from company all summer I may never catch up. Sometimes I just sweep it all under the rug and start from scratch. (don’t let that cat out of the bag! ) ~Elle

  4. I was going to say like Elle… sometimes you just have to bite the bullet, press delete and start anew. We won’t tell; won’t cry if you don’t have a chance to read us; won’t hold it against you… much.

  5. Your relatives are lucky to have watched your singing and dancing routine 🙂 For me, when I say that I need to catch up on my reading, I mean reading on Economics books and YA Novels (I have diversified my interests) HAHA

  6. I am horrified, I thought I had catched up on reading..only to find I missed this post…how did this happen??? And I wasn’t even entertaining family…they are all safely on the other side of the big pond, teeth and all.
    The sacrifices you make in life: entertaining family and friends, helping employers, keeping us here in blog-space out of trouble. You are a true Saint and deserve the golden red nose award!!! Have a great weekend, Johanna

    • Thank you Johanna. Oh yes, the Pope and I have broke bread many times—yes, he’s a fan of my blog too!. He tells me the reason my bread always breaks whenever I drop it is because, I always fail to use yeast when I bake it. So, of late he’s been insisting on us getting together over a biscotti and espresso instead. I once suggested to him calling my blog, the sacred writings. However, he says he’s reluctant to do so, because some other blogger has already done that already. Oh, I was delighted to hear that your family have all their teeth on the other side of the pond. But for some reason, that just struck me as being rather odd. So, when I told my wife about it, she just laughed at me repeating the phrase…”oh your punctuation” but she always talks in riddles anyway. You have a great weekend as well, Johanna.

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