Playing Fast And Loose With The Facts

expert

These days, with all politicians throwing their hats into the ring in an attempt to become president, we’re likely to get an education on how to play fast and loose with the facts. But then again, politicians are experts at that sort of thing, and I’m only an amateur—or am I? politicians

So, would you like to hear my theory on playing it loose with the facts?

Well too bad, I have a few twisted examples before I can complete another ridiculous post. So sit down—please!

First of all, Mark Twain once said, “Get your facts first, than you can distort them as you please.”

For example; George Washington was the first president of the United States, that’s a fact—but he also had wooden teeth. Donald Trump is running for president of the United States, another fact—but he has SOMETHING on his head.

These are the facts, but I’m playing fast and loose with them.

How about a factoid? it’s not really a fact. In reality, it’s a word with an o-i-d added on. That’s verifiable, but a factoid is not.

For those in the know this won’t come as a big shock, but Disney World is not really a world—just a theme park. And, just try New York City, just try and prove to the world (any world) that you’re a Big Apple. You can’t—can you?

Bruce Jenner is not a complete woman—well not yet anyway.

Their might be giants, but it won’t be the San Francisco or New York Giants. Both are frauds! Here’s why—(Y).

Now that that silliness is out of the way here’s why I called both Giant teams, big fibbers.

Justin Maxwell who plays for the San Francisco Giants is only 6’5′ inches tall, and he’s their tallest player.

And Chris Canty and Matt McCants of the New York Giants are the tallest on their team, and each is only 6’7 inches tall. Hardly Giants among men, wouldn’t you say? So those Giants (both of them), aren’t really Giants at all! Oh, that’s a bonus fact. No charge… oh, and that’s a bonus, bonus fact!

full moonThe moon is full… even after its eight—I mean its ate. Well… you have to throw in a few random facts, right?

Bet you all knew that Pluto was considered a planet long before 1919. The International Astronomical Union (IAU) doesn’t think so though. They decided to declare Pluto a dwarf planet. No problem, the (IAU) hasn’t been around as long as Pluto—in fact only SINCE 1919.

So Mickey Mouse decided to name his dog, Pluto. Just let the (IAU) try and declare him one of the 7 dwarfs! They can’t, not in their power. Take that (IAU)!pluto

Elvis sightings are real—even if Mr. Presley is gone—that includes that short order cook at the Sahara.

Sgt. Joe Friday (Jack Webb) from “Dragnet” fame made a living saying “Just the facts mam” even to the men!

Okay, I made that last part up, but I couldn’t leave it at that, not with a cheap laugh still out there to be had. You know, I’m actually starting to feel more like an expert on this subject now.

Anyway, that’s my theory on playing fast and loose with the facts. Now you could appoint a fact finding committee to check them out, but please keep in mind what Albert Einstein once said…

albert“If the facts don’t fit the theory, change the facts.”

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38 comments on “Playing Fast And Loose With The Facts

    • Oh for the good old days when all they did was go on the stump (instead of television) and debate. Now you can see them on practically every network, even on replay. Then we vote to put them in powerful government positions (where all our tax dollars just happen to be) on the basis of how good they lie about how good their opponents are lying, all while avoiding the issues and telling us about how good they are. Now wonder they call it party politics, we elect them to office, and they throw a party—and at our expense! Our tax dollars at work. :@)

  1. Thank you, I just woke up, read your post, laughed out loud and I am ready for my day! xo Johanna
    ps indeed what is that on Trumps head? Although I am more befuddled about what goes on inside his head…

    • I’m glad I was responsible for at least helping to start your day off with a smile, Johanna. As for the Trump headcase, scientist are still stumped. It could be years before we find out the results of their studies. 😀

    • This is a question that has left canine pets—better known as humans—baffled since they first found themselves at the other end of a leash— held by their canine masters, of course. But humans apparently make great companions, even if they do have a hard time comprehending the more complex mysteries of the universe—like why one dog can talk while another only barks. But, like the great philosopher Lassie once said, “arf, arf, woof, woof, rough, rough.” and still, all people can hear is… “bark, bark, bark, bark!” It’s about all we can hope for from a human. 😀

  2. Mark Twain was so clever when he said, “Get your facts first, than you can distort them as you please.”…. A very witty post and a bunch of truly interesting facts…
    So… Pluto is now a dwarf planet. No way!!!!- It seems Pluto from Disney didn’t like it either! … All the best to you! Aquileana ★🚗⚠️

  3. I think you’ve just written the keynote speech for both National Conventions…minor variations, of course. Of course you run the risk of being placed on the ballot and having to accept the nomination, which I’m assuming you will. And yes, I’ll agree to be your VP. Think of the possibilities..:)

    • To quote Bogie “I think this is the beginning of a beautiful world takeover.” or something to that effect. George, I accept your volunteering me to be the next megalomaniac with world domination on his mind. I look forward to your becoming my new mini me. How tall are you? I only ask, since I have to order your new clothes from the World Domination Clothing Catalog, so that you and I can look alike in our new (retro) Nehru Jacket jumpsuits. Would you like an eye patch? Its not a requirement mind you, but I find that all the well dressed minions (or number twos) of a future new world order leader are wearing them these days. Its… sort of a fashion statement—like the the one Moshe Dayan wore. You’ll note of course, how all the underlings (those other little people) all raise their eyes upward whenever you and I walk by. They expect us to stand on those lofty soapboxes with egos to match. That… or they can’t understand how I can avoid stating the facts like other politicians, while truthful accusations about me wash away like food off of a Teflon pan. Hey… that could be our campaign slogan! ;o)

      • Love the campaign slogan. I’ll have the minions begin working on the placards immediately so we can be ready for the next national debate. I’m 6’2″ and I would love the eye patch since I thought Moshe wore it well as a fashion statement. Can’t wait to get started on our plan to purge DC of the stench that currently permeates throughout the city.

      • Yeah, I know what you mean, George. I can’t stand Limburger cheese either. Oh, oh wait… you meant that group of folks who’ve set up permanent residence on Capitol Hill pretending to care about the people of the country. But you know, I’d be willing to bet that they are the same ones responsible for serving that awful smelly Limburger cheese over at the Capital Grille too! George, Washington D.C. won’t be safe, until we purge the city of Limburger cheese! Oh, and those stinking politicians—and they’re clothes too. :@)

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