A Top Secret Post For The Best Blog Readers…In My Price Range

Highly confidential stuff.

Highly confidential stuff.

The following is a top secret post, visible only to “Attic” readers using the secret decoder ring hidden in my last post.

THIS IS A SPECIAL BULLETIN from WordPress:

This post is visible to EVERYONE, even to the dummy who wrote it. And no, he didn’t include a secret decoder ring in his last post—otherwise we’d have one too, along with the last golden ticket from Willy Wonka! We realize this was a horrible thing to wake-up to, but it couldn’t be helped, because it went totally viral!

Anyway, we now return you to this dummy and his ridiculous post.

wonka

Welcome readers to the first “In My Cluttered Attic” super secret meeting of the (cluttered) mind. As you know by now, I struggle (every other day or so) to write a post in a timely manner. Say nothing of reading, commenting, and pressing blogger friends buttons (Uh, LIKE buttons) in an expedient fashion.

For my friends who blog about poetry, writing, art, photography, or making money—obviously this blog is not about any of those themes, or I’d have a bank account loaded with cash by now—this post is for you.

I wrote this post, to say thanks to all of you for reading my award winning humor—unworthy of a paying publication. rejected

I am aware that some of you—like my friend Donna over at http://yadadarcyyada.com/ have followers numbering in the hundreds, unlike myself (as I have depleted my bank account in an attempt to bribe you into following me). But there is a very good reason why Donna has so many followers. She offers insightful writing——while I continue to scribble…lots of drivel.

Still, I’m grateful to all of you who follow me, whether hundreds are following you or just dozens, possibly explaining why fewer of you are following me—but that could lend an air of truth to MY slogan, “The most impossible to find blog on the entire internet.”

Some of my former readers strayed from the light known as “My Attic” (almost immediately), at the possible risk of being contaminated. Take my friend Stephanie for example over at http://onceuponyourprime.com/ who apparently felt making scads of money in her spare time, was infinitely superior to making no money from reading my blog.

I know, go figure, right?

Of course, she’s brilliant and that’s why I find reading her writing not only enlightening, but entertaining too. Not to mention that by reading what she has to say, I may yet learn the art of closing the deal.

parisAlso, I go to great lengths to respond to my readers who take the time to comment on my blog. Once, I even tried consulting the DMV in an attempt to reach one of my many fans, Paris Hilton (well that’s who she said she was). And for that the FBI issued me a cease and desist order?

I am all too aware of the daily risk that threaten to push our love of writing onto a back burner. Why at this very minute, some sadistic fiend out there, is likely cooking up some similar (hairbrained) scheme for my site to meet a similar fate—in hopes that this blog will somehow go up in flames!

To that I say… does anyone hear sirens?  smoke

Some folks have asked me, “Paul (because that’s my name and I don’t answer to Jack) how do you keep bloggers on your payroll…uh…blogroll?”

Well I’ll tell you. Simple… I click follow.

Take for instance, my friend, Susannah from http://athingirl.com/ she offers daily insights on events she see’s happening in the Big Apple, and then there’s my friend, Kate at http://coffeekatblog.com/ who not only loves her cats, but who I also suspect believes I’m on something.

Thank goodness, neither of these fine ladies have ever been able to prove that—YET.

Likewise, there’s my Canadian partner (currently on summer camp assignment—no doubt with some moose), Paul residing over at https://captainsspeech.wordpress.com/ and my other good pal, George who is not from Canada, but who I enjoy all the same at http://theoffkeyoflife.com/ (they complete one half of the group known as “The Beatles”  although, neither of them have a Beatles haircut) nevertheless, both of them have hung on my every word, and because of it… could lose their grip on reality any day now.

This should clearly demonstrate (to skeptics and anyone named,Thomas) my undeniable appeal to the rich and famous.

However, it is virtually impossible to list all the bloggers whose writing, comments, and photos would add joy to anyone’s day, say nothing of my own. Yet, you just knew I was gonna try (Inhale).

Other visiting friends to my outpost on the WordPress prairie, have even been known to occasionally contribute (occasionally?) witty comments or humorous banter to my blog, and include in no particular order;

Jan at http://jttwissel.com/ a skilled writer and friend, or my extremely talented pal, Jodi at http://lifeinbetween.me/ and further artistry comes from that far out there, Sarah at http://problemswithinfinity.com/ and then there’s the hilariously gifted, Allen at http://thecolaneconundrum.com/ or the extremely fun and skilled  Johanna at https://colorpencil2014.wordpress.com/ and don’t forget another friend, Sarah from https://brandedexplorer.wordpress.com/ and all these folks offer their own special brand of humor and artistic skills—for the enjoyment of others.

I still benefit though—in spite of that.

Did I mention the amazing, Susie (and she truly is) at http://susielindau.com/ who will certainly keep you busy and inspired by her energy, and zest for life? Or how about my ever tortured friend, Sandi at https://flipflopseveryday.wordpress.com/ who puts up with me. I have another friend (oh yes!), John at http://thestoryenthusiast.com/ who helps me with my seriously lacking artistic endeavors. Also, another dear (Canadian) friend, Dale at http://adelectablelife.com/ who reminds me of what we can lose, and still we can carry on with hope. There’s my Lily (hi Lil!) at https://mixedupmoose.wordpress.com/ who has lavished me with high praise which I can’t resist soaking up. And one horrible omission on my part (at least initially, but in serious need of inclusion, as he has been with me from the very beginning), Occraz http://rational-reflection.com/2015/05/11/a-magical-journey-day-one/comment-page-1/#comment-604 who just happens to be very funny in his own right. And GP Cox https://pacificparatrooper.wordpress.com/ who not only helps us remember all those who have served, but who have sacrificed for our freedom. Thank you GP.

No, of course I’m not done yet. I have to tell you about Sarah (Yes another Sarah. What, you got a problem with that name? Well I should say not, or you’ll face the wrath of Choppy…who is totally harmless) at http://travelswithchoppy.com/ and then there’s, Jay whose fabulous movie reviews (don’t leave for the theater without them) will leave you ready for the multiplex at http://assholeswatchingmovies.com/ and the beautiful Melanie from http://amusingmyselfmusings.com/ who never gives up on life, and my friend, Tessa at https://tessacandoit.wordpress.com/ both these ladies always press relentlessly forward.

There is the very funny (okay, bitter) Ben at http://bensbitterblog.com/ and noted comic writer, Austin from https://moviewriternyu.wordpress.com/ who inspires me. And my delightful friend, Juls at https://theindecisiveeejit.wordpress.com/ who happens to be Irish like me, but who is actually from the UK.

I have sensitive, but no less important friends who visit me. For instance, Elle at https://knowleselle.wordpress.com/ and a wonderful poet, who I prefer to call, Chocolate at https://poetryandchocolateandbooks.wordpress.com/ and another couple of friends who also write great poetry, Barrira at https://unheardunspokencogitationum.wordpress.com/ and Kritika at athttps://krivashist.wordpress.com/  and simply must mention,Tricia and Ben at http://en.gravatar.com/threehandsoneheart who demonstrate real fortitude in life. Scott at http://snoozingonthesofa.com/ with his fantastic flair for family humor will leave you in stitches—and he’s not even a surgeon!

I have intellectual bloggers too who I can’t leave out of “My Attic” like Joseph at https://nebusresearch.wordpress.com/ or the lovely Aquileana from https://aquileana.wordpress.com/ and the equally lovely and funny, Mindy at  https://mindykdickerson.wordpress.com/ and of course I claim another math wiz (like Joseph) a WordPress favorite of mine…https://mathemagicalsite.wordpress.com/ who impresses me no end.

Then there is the real deal (no not in poker), Mitch from http://mitchteemley.com/ the well written Mike at http://mctuggle.com/ and the equally well written Charles from https://charlesfrenchonwordsreadingandwriting.wordpress.com/ plus the erudite Eric at https://notesfromanarcissist.wordpress.com/ or the wonderful Raymond from http://axelthekey.com/ and the not to be missed http://listofx.com/ or the never to be forgot—my idol and mentor—the great Paul Johnson, whose alter I worship, at  http://thegoodgreatsby.com/2011/11/03/the-take-a-sip-punctuation/ which I’m certain is located somewhere in, China.

weekendThis could have taken you all weekend to read, and I knew you didn’t have time for that. But, I hope you’ll see what I was trying to say to all of you wonderful people—many of whom I failed to mention because if I’d tried, I might still be here until 2096!

But, for those of you whom I didn’t mention—because some of you who I read, don’t even try to read my blog, or even care that I write—please know that you never go unnoticed by me for taking that precious amount time out of your very busy day—in order to make my day better.

And for those of you who do read my blog, I can’t thank you enough for ignoring actor Steve Martins Blog in favor of mine —he’s so jealous.

I wanted to let all of you know how much I wish I could read each and every post you publish, followed by me pressing the like button on your various posts after commenting on them. Unfortunately, this is not humanly possible. Which is also why I have applied for super hero status to be granted to me.

I know you crawl around “In My Cluttered Attic” in hopes of finding something entertaining to read, and all I do is reciprocate with silliness. So, I feel this thank you is hardly adequate for all the knee problems you’ve suffered on my account. However, I’m very popular with orthopedic surgeons!

You certainly deserved an honorable mention here, but I hope you’ll all settle (out of court) for this incredibly shrinking list of survivors from my blog instead. These are only some of the folks who have visited my blog on multiple occasions (and perhaps numerous mental health professionals as a result), and are now counted among the walking dead. As more of you are discovered I will add you to the list. Believe me when I say, I was once wracked with enormous guilt:

https://tienny.wordpress.com/http://allisonmaruska.com/https://traceyfisher11.wordpress.com…/https: https://dorothydekok.wordpress.com/2015/04/01/be-your-own-editor///hallenterprises132.wordpress.com/http://themiddlestsister.com/http://benjamindraws.com/https://writerfor365.wordpress.com/http://tonyburgess1969.net/http://wholedotcom.com/https://coldchickensoup.wordpress.com/http://nursekellyknows.com/http://cindyknoke.com/https://mercedesmosaics.wordpress.com/https://gauravchaplot.wordpress.com/http://bluchickenninja.com/https://rainefairy.wordpress.com/http://aniketsharmaphotography.com/http://2classysisters.com/https://quotesandlyrics.wordpress.com/http://storiform.com/http://www.baffledbaboon.com/http://deepruts.com/http://autism-mom.com/http://kindcotton.com/https://tripleclicka.wordpress.com/http://danhoger.com/https://jotraveller.wordpress.com/https://bloggingforme71.wordpress.com/http://jkfalkner.com/http://moviejoltz.com/https://jacobemet.wordpress.com/ http://finallyawriter.com/ http://cindyknoke.com/

Now, would someone please be kind enough to call an ambulance…I think there is a good chance I should go to the hospital for being so long-winded! (and…exhale).

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105 comments on “A Top Secret Post For The Best Blog Readers…In My Price Range

  1. This is the best Thank you and appreciation note I have ever read. How considerate and kind of you to add me to the list too. 💝
    And really, I wanted to write something like this from a long time too. It’s so harf to manage to read all the wonderful and super awesome posts by these talented bloggers. The secret to the superpower to read at least 5k blogs a day should be discovered. 😛 ASAP
    Your blog always make me laugh and is one of the reason behind my very good haemoglobin level. :p
    Have a cheery and fun weekend! 😀 Yay!

  2. This is a very impressive Thank You post!

    Thank you for your kind words and thank you very much as well for your entertaining posts. They always make me smile.c

    Anyway, I’m surprised that you grouped me among intellectual bloggers 😀

  3. Do I ever feel honored to be part of your list!! I feel it as a Red Nose Award! Great post and I will enjoy checking out all those other blogs in the coming week! Cheers and have a great weekend, Johanna

    • Thank you so much, Johanna. It is my pleasure to honor you in the best way I thought I could. At least by letting others know how fantastic all my readers are, I hope others will go see what they have been missing. By now, you must have lifted some very nice watches, purses, and fine jewelry… WHOOPS those readers have me to blame for their missing items, my bad. However, just let me say (before I get arrested for grand larceny) that Johanna has a wonderful blog, and she doesn’t steal like I do. :O)

  4. Would you believe if I tell you that the other day I was telling my brother about your blog and that how funny is it and that he must read it and and that there is a reason why I call Paul Paulsome?

    This is a very generous and lovely thank you post one could write for their readers. I am so overwhelmed and happy to see my name there. I wish I could half as funny as you are, since most of my jokes are lame.

    By the way, I write poems and earn zero money! I am there with you in this. Also, was Katrika intentional? 😀

    Thank you again, Paul. You have earn all your readers with your creativity and there are many more to come. Best wishes.

    Hugs.

    • Kritika, what can I say? Better still, what can I write to say thank you! Well, perhaps I could start by saying how sorry I am, that my fingers spelled your name wrong. You’ll be happy to know they were laid off, as opposed to being lopped off, as it was a mental mistake (yes, I’ve finally gone mental) on my part, due to fatigue (a drug doctors don’t give you, that keeps you from feeling awake). And I want to say thank you for your patients (but I’ll write it instead), they all say you are an excellent doctor of poetry, who by the way, knows how to spell patience. But seriously, it wasn’t intentional, only a pour spellor trying to learn how to right. But I sincerely promise you a correction as soon as I can find an r and another i in my scrabble pile. :@)

  5. Ok, I’m not sure how much longer I can follow your blog. I’m in therapy you know. Blogging makes you not bathe enough and drink too much Starbucks. One of the steps is to help others who have blogging addictions. I’m sending my cats out to help you even as we speak (or type). Thanks for making me feel normal (at least in comparison!) 🙂

    • Frustratingly so, Scott. In truth, I have over 250 people who follow my writing (and believe me when I say, I’m truly grateful), and that is pale in comparison to others whose blogs have infinitely more followers (say a Brad Pitt). I doubt any of us are ungrateful that anyone finds what we write worthy of their attention (except if its Edward Snowden). Yet, after I write one of my post, I love to respond to everyone who comments on it (except Don Rickles), even taking the time to go look at those who have pressed the like button on my post (with the possible exception of that notorious button pusher, Donald Trump). Then I like to go and read their recent post. Add to that, trying to go peek at any of the 250 or so followers who chose to follow me, and well—you get the idea how much of a challenge (time wise) that can be, say nothing of spending time with my wife (keep that under your hat) and my family (sometimes I even get to kiss their ring). But, then my employers call, saying I’m ignoring them (like they were friends or something) and would like to see me sometimes. Then when I do show up, they don’t want to pose with me for pictures, or ask for autographs, so I say why should I, at least my friends ask me for money (as if I really had any). I mean, where does one find the time (unless they go to Greenwich)? Sorry Scott, I think I talked your ear off…at least the (AMA might be interested to hear about that). Chapter two of this novel hits newsstands tomorrow. I only hope they can take a punch (I even doubt they’ll use a punchline). :@)

  6. Oh my god! I’m so honoured to be included on a list that’s not being investigated by the FBI and Interpol, or written on a restraining order…again.
    Seriously, though, thank you for the mention. Like those you’ve mentioned, you’re a real gem in the blogosphere and I mean that sincerely.

    Now I’m off to investigate some of the bloggers you’ve mentioned.

  7. Wow Paul. The time and thoughtfulness you put into this is overwhelming. Shows you are not only funny and silly 😜 but have a kind genuine heart. A special combination. A special guy! 💙

    • Jeanette, your decision to follow my blog— despite knowing you may never find your way out of what other bloggers, who follow here, acknowledge as a disaster area—suggest (in spite of better judgement) that you belong here too! Welcome fellow Atticite! :@)

  8. The absolute, hands down, most unique thank you I have ever read on here and there isn’t a close second. I’ve always wanted to be reecognized as one half of the Beatles and have petitioned you and Ringo for some some now so thank you for the shout out. As for hanging in your every word, this statement is also very true though I would appreciate you letting me down soon, since my shoulders are becoming very sore.

  9. Wow. Thanks so much for the mention… You put a big smile on my face!…. All the credits to you, as ever for your wonderful job!… Happy week ahead! Aquileana 😀

    • Sarah, I actually do have a plan to do a post, where all my regular readers (of which I happen to count you as being among them) will be accorded a certain standing. And I want you to know (and again, I’m not just saying this to save my skin, just in case you are one of those skin me alive types, because that would hurt!) that I want to do it in such a way as to make all casual readers, and (those fly by night types—I don’t know why they can’t visit during the day?) feel jealous that they are not counted among you folks—because I’m evil that way. Plus it might help improve my stats. Mind you—not that I care about such shallow things. 😀

  10. Honored to be part of the “Attic” community! Thanks so much, Paul! Keep the humor flame burning. (Unless, of course, you’re in a closed room with a flatulent friend.)

    • Your cartooning has inspired me, and I have appreciated your wonderful help and advise on several occasions. I can’t wait to see your future success grow. Many thanks, John. And thank you for again for those kind words. :@)

  11. I don’t post photos and used yo write amusing posts about dating and then ran out of stories so I resort to a wide variety of subjects. I wonder how a lot of people I follow snd they follow me f on add up to 100’s of comments. I cut back on posts and don’t worry about quantity anymorr. I totally sympathize with you on many aspects of your frustration or discontent. Nice list which I have 5 or 6 overlaps 🙂

  12. Sorry it took me so long to get to this! I always try and read a good amount of the posts on my feed, but I have been slacking for a while and some of the best posts (yours!) have slipped through the cracks. Thank you for the shout out, I greatly appreciate your kindness! 🙂

      • Believe me, I have read some bad novels. That doesn’t even compare. It was much better and entertaining.

      • Thank you Mindy. And thanks to your kind words, I now have the courage to submit my jewel of a post to Doubleday for publication. I feel after they have had the chance to read what I had to say about my wonderful blogging friends they’ll have no choice, but to mail us each a six figure income. But, just in case that doesn’t work out (a remote possibility to be sure), I still love reading your blog and appreciate you following mine. :@)

      • Oh boy, I really hope that works out!!! Although if it doesn’t, I too love reading your blog and will continue to do so!

    • Thank you Cindy. I can’t imagine any blogger not appreciating such kind words. And indeed I do appreciate reading such praise about my blog. Cindy, I also want to take this chance to tell others to please go and look at Cindy’s magnificent blog. It too has much to offer for anyone looking for another wonderful blog full of pleasant surprises. You won’t regret it. :o)

  13. What a great post! And I get to be the 100th comment. Thanks, everyone, for saving it for me! I appreciate the mention. The moose at camp made it that much more enjoyable…except when we wanted to give the kids free moose rides. “The Moose is on the Loose” signs were posted immediately.

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