The following is from the CEO (public nuisance) of “In My Cluttered Attic”
Welcome good readers. I take great pride (in the misery of others) that I (he means his writers) provide a blog that offers an escape and refuge (insane asylum) from your daily strife.
However, you may have noticed that I’ve been gone for a week (A week! Oh I think we all know he’s been GONE much longer than that) so that I could get some badly needed rest (something this slacker knows plenty about).
But, now I’m back (help us Obe-Won, you’re only hope!).
And it’s time for the monthly “In My Cluttered Attic” state of the blog address (that’s new, when did this happen?). The state of my blog is strong (obviously the guy is delusional and hasn’t seen his stats lately).
As many of you have noticed (chirp, chirp, chirp…etc) I have not posted in a week (for which we are all grateful). You may be asking yourself, why (not really)?
Well there’s a simple explanation for this (because the author of this blog is a simpleton?); a quality post takes time (not if your good) and I have been working on a (fifth of Jack Daniels) post worthy of you, my many followers (actually, he’s quite paranoid).
That, and my internet provider has been having problems of late (sure and I have a bridge to sell you in the Mojave Desert). I had writers block too (nothing new there). And finally, I was hard at work all week long (try hardly working).
Sometimes this happens to great writers (and frequently to this dope). But, don’t be alarmed dear readers (I’m not… are any of you?) as this is only a passing predicament for me (that has plagued him all his life).
Occasionally (try always), I find myself staring at a blank screen (with a vacant look due to his lack of intelligence) not sure what I’ll write next (as I, and all his other gag writers just quit and he’s lost without us) before a post finally crystallizes in my mind (first, you to have one…a mind, that is).
But, that is the exception (try the rule, moron) here “In My Cluttered Attic.”
I had writers (block) who desperately tried to provide laughs (frequently) for you, my loyal readers (accidentally sucked into this black hole he likes to call a blog).
But, I was recently forced to let them all go (we fled…happily), because they were (competent and refused to work for nothing) demanding more than they were worth (its called a paycheck, TIGHTWAD!).
Have no fear though (if I were you, I’d be petrified) followers of “The Attic” because your prayers for better writing has been answered (did you all go back to reading scripture?).
And with that, let us begin (to abandon this clown) again. SHUT-UP BOB, I FIRED YOU! (I quit, REMEMBER?)