Come On Down!

Come on down

You all know what game shows are. Of course you do, otherwise you’d be living under a rock, and why would you wanna do that? Unless of course, you were asked to do that as a participant on a game show, in which case I’d wanna see that!

And, if you have ever watched a game show, you know they have a host (Tell em what they’ve won Johnny!), and a voice over guy, Johnny, or George as the case may be (You’ve won, an all expense paid trip—AROUND THE BLOCK!).

Johnny or George

Johnny or George

In addition to the host and voice over guy, you will see one or two beautiful women who dip and smile waving their hands elegantly about, while standing in front of a door. Or they’ll be standing in front of a curtain with expensive merchandise, which you’ll only bear witness too, but never possess.

rachelI’ve often wondered if game show voice over guys really sound that way at home? Like on “The Price As Right” and “Let’s Make a Deal.” So I tried it.

“You son, have just won a two day ordeal—CLEANING UP YOUR BEDROOM! Had you chosen homework over playing video games, you might have missed out on—BEING GROUNDED! This deal is worth—ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

Or, when he forgot to do his chores, I said “Your video games were sponsored by the following—Your allowance money… THANKS FOR PAYING!”

When I asked him, “Well, what do you think, how did I do?” he said, “Dad… don’t give up your day job.”

Figuring, a voice over guy was just not in the cards for me, I tried my hand at being a game show host at home. That evening, when the rest of my family started arriving home I welcomed them in by saying… “Come on in and lets play… MAKE THE DINNER AND DO THE DISHES!”

I don’t remember much, after that. Maybe I got…ZONKED! Or was it CONKED, like in, conked on the head with something.

It’s all a little fuzzy now, but I vaguely remember my wife saying something like, “Why don’t you go spin the wheels—AND DO SOME SHOPPING FIRST!” I took that to mean, for anything I really wanted.

So, I came back with… “A BRAND NEW CAR!”

She asked “SUGGESTED RETAIL PRICE?” and I told her “$44,999!”

After that, I heard bells and whistles going off—not to mention seeing stars! For some strange reason my baseball cap doesn’t fit now, and my youngest son has taken to saying ” Hey there Lumpy!” every time he see’s me. And, he does this while falling down clutching his stomach, and laughing hysterically. conked

I still think my wife would be the perfect model for one of those game shows though.

These days, when we go to buy our youngest new clothes, we shove him into a changing room. Then, while he’s changing, my wife sneaks over and positions herself in front of the curtain—waiting for him to pull it back.

When he opens the curtain, my wife, now standing in front of it begins her dip, and smiles while waving her hands about in front of him, and I say “AND HERE”S WHAT YOU’VE WON!” All the while, his face turns the most marvelous shade of crimson you will ever see.

Uh… well… with the exception of Hank’s, who is from Nevada.

You see, when I myself initially tried this prank, I yelled “COME ON DOWN!” and pulled open the wrong curtain revealing—Hank… from Nevada… while he was standing… in his underwear.

hank from NevadaBoy, I never saw my wife or son laugh so hard in all my life, which was about to be shortened considerably, by Hank… from Nevada—no sense of humor that Hank.

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53 comments on “Come On Down!

  1. This is brilliant:

    “You son, have just won a two day ordeal—CLEANING UP YOUR BEDROOM! Had you chosen homework over playing video games, you might have missed out on—BEING GROUNDED! This deal is worth—ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

    I think I need to try this at home. I’ll make my husband be the announcer. Poor Hank. Having no sense of humor must suck for him. 🙂

  2. BTW: I’ve often wondered if the soccer announcers practice yelling GOOOOOAAAAAAL in the bathroom mirrors and their bathroom window is open … and the neighbor gardening downstairs has to listen to their crazy neighbor. Obviously, those dude’s must practice right? And what better place than the bathroom mirror?

    • I’m very proud to be linked to the Paul that is the father of the worlds (soon to be official, holiday) “LOONEY JUNE! I laughed so hard when on Wheel of Fortune, Vanna White accidentally slipped into Bugs Bunny’s rabbit hole while moving towards the last vowel on the board in the word June, and found herself falling into Jeopardy! That’s what I call… wait for it—really coming on down! ;o)

  3. I’m just happy I was fortunate enough to be a kid during a golden age of daytime game shows, the late 70s and early 80s. We’ll never see its like again, sadly.

  4. Oh look!!!! I GOT THE EMAIL NOTIFICATION OF THIS POST!!!! What miracles have you done? You do love me after all!!

    Soooo… as the mother of two teenaged boys, I cannot help but imagine their total laughter at my attempts at either voice-over gal (‘coz… I have to play that role too now) or game-show hostess or crap! how on earth can I be the lovely, elegant assistant at the same time?

    Wave my arms elegantly, lower my voice to the desired booming one and then proclaim! Come on down! You are the next contestant on the Clean-up-your- disgusting-room!

  5. “You all know what game shows are. Of course you do, otherwise you’d be living under a rock, and why would you wanna do that? Unless of course, you were asked to do that as a participant on a game show, in which case I’d wanna see that!”…

    The introductory lines are so eloquent!… Giggling! …
    I was thinking that sometimes leaving on top of the rock might be worse than being under it… (You know, that level of exposure!!!)… Anyhow, you can always win in those game shows but it is above all a matter of psychological struggle. If you win you can feel yourself an emperor…. and you’ll probably feel rich… But if you lose, you’ll be not only under the rock but surrounded by smelly mood… I bet you’d feel the “biggest loser”. 👌
    I’d rather try the Casino instead! … 😀
    Have a wonderful Hump Day …And thanks for dropping by my blog, Paul… Aquileana 🌟★🌟

    • Thank you very much. There is no higher praise for any humorist. Except perhaps, being told your gonna get paid for writing humor. Nah, I love making people laugh until their sides hurt, it’s the sadist in me. ;o)

  6. You live very dangerously, my friend, pulling open random curtains. But I think you will make a terrific host if only you get the right break and opportunity. Of course you need to stay healthy in order to pursue this new career so let’s leave the curtains where they are for now, shall we?

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