You all know what game shows are. Of course you do, otherwise you’d be living under a rock, and why would you wanna do that? Unless of course, you were asked to do that as a participant on a game show, in which case I’d wanna see that!
And, if you have ever watched a game show, you know they have a host (Tell em what they’ve won Johnny!), and a voice over guy, Johnny, or George as the case may be (You’ve won, an all expense paid trip—AROUND THE BLOCK!).
In addition to the host and voice over guy, you will see one or two beautiful women who dip and smile waving their hands elegantly about, while standing in front of a door. Or they’ll be standing in front of a curtain with expensive merchandise, which you’ll only bear witness too, but never possess.
“You son, have just won a two day ordeal—CLEANING UP YOUR BEDROOM! Had you chosen homework over playing video games, you might have missed out on—BEING GROUNDED! This deal is worth—ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!
Or, when he forgot to do his chores, I said “Your video games were sponsored by the following—Your allowance money… THANKS FOR PAYING!”
When I asked him, “Well, what do you think, how did I do?” he said, “Dad… don’t give up your day job.”
Figuring, a voice over guy was just not in the cards for me, I tried my hand at being a game show host at home. That evening, when the rest of my family started arriving home I welcomed them in by saying… “Come on in and lets play… MAKE THE DINNER AND DO THE DISHES!”
I don’t remember much, after that. Maybe I got…ZONKED! Or was it CONKED, like in, conked on the head with something.
It’s all a little fuzzy now, but I vaguely remember my wife saying something like, “Why don’t you go spin the wheels—AND DO SOME SHOPPING FIRST!” I took that to mean, for anything I really wanted.
So, I came back with… “A BRAND NEW CAR!”
She asked “SUGGESTED RETAIL PRICE?” and I told her “$44,999!”
After that, I heard bells and whistles going off—not to mention seeing stars! For some strange reason my baseball cap doesn’t fit now, and my youngest son has taken to saying ” Hey there Lumpy!” every time he see’s me. And, he does this while falling down clutching his stomach, and laughing hysterically.
I still think my wife would be the perfect model for one of those game shows though.
These days, when we go to buy our youngest new clothes, we shove him into a changing room. Then, while he’s changing, my wife sneaks over and positions herself in front of the curtain—waiting for him to pull it back.
When he opens the curtain, my wife, now standing in front of it begins her dip, and smiles while waving her hands about in front of him, and I say “AND HERE”S WHAT YOU’VE WON!” All the while, his face turns the most marvelous shade of crimson you will ever see.
Uh… well… with the exception of Hank’s, who is from Nevada.
You see, when I myself initially tried this prank, I yelled “COME ON DOWN!” and pulled open the wrong curtain revealing—Hank… from Nevada… while he was standing… in his underwear.