We’re painting your noses red, we’re painting your noses red, we dare not stop for the ball sits atop, upon your nose that’s red, we’re plopping balls onto them instead… covering your noses red!
Hey you, you without the red nose on. Don’t you know this is a red-letter day… ah… red nose day? Why aren’t you wearing yours, everyone else is?
You don’t see anyone else doing it! What are you, blind?
Take for instance, clowns. Yes, they usually do wear red noses, but especially today. Haven’t you ever heard of Emmet Kelly? Yes, he’s a sad looking clown, but most are, but he still has a bright red nose. Okay, how about Bozo the clown? Alright, he looks weird and has strange looking hair, but he has a red nose too. Oh wait, I got it… Ronald McDonald!
Well of course they look like clowns, that’s because they are! But you don’t see them not wearing their red noses, do you?
And then there are the animals. Notice anything different? They have more fur than humans! Try again; ever heard of a reindeer by the name of, Rudolph? Well, he has a red nose, they even say it glows. What do you mean, I sing outta tune? Boy you’re a tough nut to crack.
Oh, so you’re only going to wear one if celebrities do, huh?
The Muppet’s and Sesame Street are pretty well known. You probably even grew up watching them on television. Remember Animal? He has a red nose too.
Oh… so that’s what it is, you’re afraid you’ll look stupid. Trust me, people already know that about you, so just go with it.
I see, so you wanna look cool, so that’s it.
Why even that blowhard who tried to talk me into buying his worthless book on blogging, Jasper T. Fullofit, is even wearing a red nose today, and boy does it suit him. If his nose gets any bigger, he’ll be Pinocchio!
He’s your brother! Oh ha, ha, ha… sorry.
But hey, I think you’re missing the point here. We’re not wearing the red noses to be proud (although you will be if you do), or to be a clown (although some of us are), or to be funny (because we’re just witty), or even to look cool. No, we’re all wearing them for a good cause.
Nothing could be more important than helping others (okay, in your case, it may be about helping yourself), but when you walk into a Walgreens, and spend a dollar for a red nose today (and a very stylish one at that), you’ll be donating to help 12 different charities lift children out of poverty.
So, when I take the time to point out to you that the NBC network has a star-studded telecast on tonight, just to help raise even more money for these charities, then you’ll know I’m brown nosing you to wear a red nose for a great cause.