No, Not Another Death Star!


I admit I was only suspicious at first; the idea of an evil Empire being bought by Disney? But then it occurred to me; who better than the Disney people. Lets face it; who has all the money, all the power, all the influence, and now—The Force? Folks; DISNEY IS BUILDING ANOTHER DEATH STAR! death star

Why at this very minute, I’m willing to bet Darth Vader (with his new mouse ears helmet—designed by Disney Imagineers) is thinking up ways to prevent, yet another weakness being identified by the Rebel Alliance, which could result in another Death Star explosion. Think of the insurance risk!

Not to mention the fallout. Heads will roll… and they might be ours. But, he really should talk to Farmers.

Right now I suspect that more than a few of you out there are thinking, “this guy is probably more than a little crazy.” And I’m guessing the rest of you—are absolutely certain of it!

However, I feel it my responsibility to warn all of the human-race of an impending doom—with the possible exception of ISIS, Al Qaeda, and Marty Gunther—who used to beat me up all the time throughout the fourth grade after school.

When George Lucas first started running the Star Wars Empire, he didn’t have the kind of money, power, and influence required to build a powerful intergalactic juggernaut capable of universal mass destruction. This was no doubt due to his wanting to build Lucas Ranch in Marin County instead.

So he had to borrow money from a movie studio in Hollywood. You’ve heard of Hollywood? Well it used to be a planet, still is, only now its known as Planet Hollywood. Anyway,  they know a thing or two about promoting an idea—that’s not yet a reality. planet hollywood

Then one day the Disney Empire, who has its fingers into everything (and apparently connections with former President Ronald Regan, who dreamed up the Star Wars defense system-which was to act from space in our defense), decided to build a Star Wars ride. George must have been duped into giving his blessings.

Well one thing led to another, but I have no idea what either of those things are. So I guess I can’t talk about them now, because they have no bearing on this subject what so ever.

But back to the subject of the evil Galactic Empire located in a galaxy far, far away, but coming real soon to a planet near you.

When the real Emperor Palpatine found out that Disney had the rights to open a Star Wars ride in Disneyland, he must have infiltrated the Disney Corporation. The perfect cover, a family destination. Although, that must have been a real neat trick. Have you ver seen how this guy looks? Well there you go. themporor palpatine

Anyway, Palpatine had to figure George Lucas must have intrusted the little R2 unit (now owned by Disney) with the technical blueprints for the designing, and building of a real Death Star.

He had to have reasoned, that by capturing R2D2 he could sell a lot of popcorn with the making of another Star Wars movie. So he lured all the old cast members in, with the promise of bit parts, and now he probably has them too!

No opposition to the building of his new massive Death Star. Don’t you see people?

We’ve got to stop them and all the Imperial Storm-Troopers. We have to… hey, what are you guys doing with that straight jacket, and what about that big needle, your not gonna—Oh, Obi Wan, help me, you’re my only hope!



65 comments on “No, Not Another Death Star!

    • Just woke up from my snooze. Gonna get a triple shot Latte from Starbucks. I’ll be as right as rain in no time at all! Then its off to the Washington Post to tell my story, just as soon as I figure out how to get out of this padded cell.

    • Well Jan, if I have anything to say about it, it will. But every time I start to say something, these two guys suddenly show up out of nowhere and with a straight Jacket and needle. I hope that needle doesn’t have an air-bubble! :Oo

  1. It was fun reading this one. 🙂
    Just a suggestion: Go to Settings>Sharing, and select the checkbox – Front Page, Archive Pages, and Search Results Now if someone visits your blog, he/she may like the post without opening the post separately. It will help you get more likes on the blog.

    • Thank you (Poetry) for that idea. I’m technologically challenged (as you might have guessed) and am still bumping into walls and taking my lumps here at wordpress. Ah, but the little people, I love em, and I can’t deny my public this kind of genius forever (say nothing of the glow I’ll get from more likes). I shall go post haste, and do as instructed. Mostly because I’m an idiot, but largely because I was clueless about that little nugget. Seriously though, thank you very much for the suggestion, I really do appreciate it. :O)

      • Gosh! Look how you have a way with words. Jumbling up the 26 alphabets and forming a perfect word and then rearranging them to make perfect sense. I love your humour. 😀 This one made me giggle. Always keep this lil cheeky child in you alive and spread the lively energy around the world. 😀
        And don’t worry, we are all learning here. It’s never to late to learn and grasp new knowledge. 😀 Enjoy the afterglow. 😉 Continue bringing smiles to your readers. 😀

      • Just eat healthy, brush twice a day and make all your horrendous dentist appointments on time. And they will remain intact and shiny for long, long time. 🙂 And after that, one can always own a pair of healthy, shiny and gummy dentures. 😉 😀 😀

  2. I employed the help of Scotty to get here. You are wrong about something though. Disney is actually using R2D2 to make popcorns, and Lucas is now Honorary Council Member of Parks & Recreation Committee, Inter Galactic Division.

    • When the Force Awakens in you (this will be on Dec. 18th, of this year), you will be anointed with the light sabre of the mouse, making you a member of the order of the ears. This is a very high honor! I’m extremely envious—powerful, you will be… and a teensy weensy bit green, but don’t worry about that part.

      • Yes, don’t rush out to the Disney Store and do any unnecessary impulse buying just yet. Just sit back and cool your heels at a soothing Disney resort, and when the time is right then pounce on those bargains. ;o)

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