I admit I was only suspicious at first; the idea of an evil Empire being bought by Disney? But then it occurred to me; who better than the Disney people. Lets face it; who has all the money, all the power, all the influence, and now—The Force? Folks; DISNEY IS BUILDING ANOTHER DEATH STAR!
Why at this very minute, I’m willing to bet Darth Vader (with his new mouse ears helmet—designed by Disney Imagineers) is thinking up ways to prevent, yet another weakness being identified by the Rebel Alliance, which could result in another Death Star explosion. Think of the insurance risk!
Not to mention the fallout. Heads will roll… and they might be ours. But, he really should talk to Farmers.
Right now I suspect that more than a few of you out there are thinking, “this guy is probably more than a little crazy.” And I’m guessing the rest of you—are absolutely certain of it!
However, I feel it my responsibility to warn all of the human-race of an impending doom—with the possible exception of ISIS, Al Qaeda, and Marty Gunther—who used to beat me up all the time throughout the fourth grade after school.
When George Lucas first started running the Star Wars Empire, he didn’t have the kind of money, power, and influence required to build a powerful intergalactic juggernaut capable of universal mass destruction. This was no doubt due to his wanting to build Lucas Ranch in Marin County instead.
So he had to borrow money from a movie studio in Hollywood. You’ve heard of Hollywood? Well it used to be a planet, still is, only now its known as Planet Hollywood. Anyway, they know a thing or two about promoting an idea—that’s not yet a reality.
Then one day the Disney Empire, who has its fingers into everything (and apparently connections with former President Ronald Regan, who dreamed up the Star Wars defense system-which was to act from space in our defense), decided to build a Star Wars ride. George must have been duped into giving his blessings.
Well one thing led to another, but I have no idea what either of those things are. So I guess I can’t talk about them now, because they have no bearing on this subject what so ever.
But back to the subject of the evil Galactic Empire located in a galaxy far, far away, but coming real soon to a planet near you.
When the real Emperor Palpatine found out that Disney had the rights to open a Star Wars ride in Disneyland, he must have infiltrated the Disney Corporation. The perfect cover, a family destination. Although, that must have been a real neat trick. Have you ver seen how this guy looks? Well there you go.
Anyway, Palpatine had to figure George Lucas must have intrusted the little R2 unit (now owned by Disney) with the technical blueprints for the designing, and building of a real Death Star.
He had to have reasoned, that by capturing R2D2 he could sell a lot of popcorn with the making of another Star Wars movie. So he lured all the old cast members in, with the promise of bit parts, and now he probably has them too!
No opposition to the building of his new massive Death Star. Don’t you see people?
We’ve got to stop them and all the Imperial Storm-Troopers. We have to… hey, what are you guys doing with that straight jacket, and what about that big needle, your not gonna—Oh, Obi Wan, help me, you’re my only hope!