Oh Ye Of Little Film Faith

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Oh ye of little faith, Easter Sunday is your lucky day.

You say you don’t wish to lose the little four percent of faith you have left. You wonder why people claim only one true god, but you see so many religions—and one goofy bunny. You ask; why one true faith yet so many colorful eggs—I mean religions.goofy

You get confused by all the names like; Buddha, Muhammad, Jehovah, Joseph Smith, Billy Graham, and the Me Myself and I trinity. On this the holiest of days; Opening Day (of Baseball), I mean Easter (or is it Passover?) you want something to put your faith in… other than money—boy you are mixed up! So where should you turn?

Become a Born Again Movie Christian!

On this Easter Sunday, as they have for decades before, many followers of like faith have put their trust in the annual showings of the many biblical stories shown on television.

Ever since the dawn of Cecile B. De Mille, the biblical epic has led many to the promised land known as the box office—this took the place of passing the plate.

Before long, cinema Christians were gathering to hear (well not at first, the first biblical epics were silent) the sermons presented by De Mille and similar brethren.

crossAt first the pilgrimages to ones local theater brought only black and white enlightenment like, “The Sign of the Cross” an old testament to biblical cinema. But eventually the word was given, and big splashy color visions revealed “The Greatest Story Ever Told” of the Christ and his followers.ark

“The Bible” offers guidance about small groups standing a better chance in a flood, especially if they have lots of animals with Noah how to build an Ark (very proud of that play on words :O).

Still there is CinemaScope chapter 1:1 offering forgiveness from “The Robe” a touching story where we also learn Caligula was a very bad, bad man. And CinemaScope 1:2 continuing the saga with “Demetrius and the Gladiators” all about how to make a very bad, bad, and weak sequel.the robe

With the good book there have always been suggestions of spurious works. Perhaps “Ben Hur” qualifies with either chapter 1923, 1959, or even the upcoming 2016 chapter, the new MGM, Paramount version—as opposed to the King James version, which never happened.

raceI’ve always had my ears (and eyes) tickled by chapter 1959, where we all learn crashes at races were drawing big crowds long before auto racing.

Learn all about devotion (albeit fraught with more danger than the usual couple might face) from “The Story of Ruth” chapter 1960. Chapter 1949 tells us about “Samson and Delilah” and why haircuts could sometimes be bad.

“King of Kings” chapter 1961 gives plenty of reasons why not to stand out from the crowd. And then there is “Barabbas” chapter 1961 demonstrating the dangers of just hanging around.barabbas

chuckBut for the shear pleasure of hearing how people talked in a silly manner back then (many of them famous movie stars—who knew?), there is nothing like watching the annual Easter time showing of the classic, ultra-extravagant “The Ten Commandments” chapter 1956.

Miracle of miracles, and in glorious Technicolor too. Here we learn you don’t mess with Moses, or you’re gonna get allllll wet.

Now say Hallelujah and go and get baptized tonight!the parting

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4 comments on “Oh Ye Of Little Film Faith

    • Yep. But some are quite good, or at least entertaining to some degree. Ah buts its traditional viewing. I noticed these biblical epics started in the early fifties and lasted through about the mid sixties. Seems there is a shelf life of ten years for certain generations of film at their height of popularity.

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