And no not type O either…like in blood type. Also you can forget… “Its National Visit A Blog Day.”
Nope… this is…”Its National Visit MY Blog Day”
“Note the blue neon sign…see the white letters form the words “VISIT MY BLOG”—and let it entrance you…listen to the sound of my voice (doesn’t it sound like Matthew MacConaughey in one of those Lincoln commercials), isn’t that soothing?
Alright then—so you say you can’t hear my voice? Then never mind that part.
Just skip to the next part…
“Observe the warm, neon blue colored background (especially those of you who live in the snow-covered east)…doesn’t this remind you of what the skies true color really is—the blue that has been missing since well… missing since B.C.E?”
Okay, so the hypnotism thing doesn’t work in this medium. But do you want babies growing up reading books instead of MY blog?
Of course you don’t.
That’s why we do everything we can to get people (and animals—if it will improve MY stats) to find and read, MY blog.
Think of the things we can do to attract readers to MY blog. We can’t be bothered about content—well I certainly can’t.
That would mean an attempt on MY part at good writing (god knows that would be suicide for me), which in turn requires deep thought (something I’m thoroughly incapable of) and still leads to—MY suicide.
Quality writing? Ha…you want me to check the punctuation, spelling, and then edit too? Who has the time—please don’t all check your watches at the same time.
You and I have to work for a living…well okay you do.
So do I…
…all day…every day…on MY blog…morning, noon, and night…and twice on Sunday’s—and the other eight day’s out of the week too! For some reason my wife still thinks there’s seven, funny girl.
Now sometimes we don’t even know what we’re going to write about. We need something interesting in order to attract readers.I don’t care to explain (but I will) just how hard it was for me to write that (most interesting) post at the end of 2014 entitled “Blah, Blah, Blah.” You know the one where I used 438 words to tell a story—and each of those words was spelled with the same four letters, B, L, A, and H.
And someone misspelled.
Worse, I borrowed that post from somebody else in order to look like a proper writer—only to find out later—they misspelled Blah with two A’s as in … Blaa!
The lone person who did comment on that post said, “Learn how to spell, idiot!”
I thought to myself—”Now why in the world would I want to learn how to spell idiot?”
But I digress. We were talking about how to attract more people to MY blog.
So, do we want to keep pressing the “like” button on every blog we come across just to get someone to take notice of us even on say—Kanye West’s blog? Yeah he has one!
Or continue typing out responses to other blogs to people you could care less about like a—Vladimir Putin. Yep he has a blog too (but not nearly as much fun as mine). In fact, he’s learning to type out his blog on his new tablet (and with a great deal of long-suffering assistance). But you have to type your responses to Vlad in Russian.
Anyone here know what key to press to get the Russian alphabet to come up on your keyboard?
So, short of buying a banner, or renting a plane to promote and get people to read MY blog, take a look at this post of mine.Think how we all can attract more people to MY blog, and then make suggestions here.
I MIGHT even put in a good word for your blog—well maybe. (This has been a subliminal message for—MY blog)
I should not be reading your blog post while working but I did… and couldn’t contain my laughter – I still have trouble with the idea that people actually read celebrity blog posts in the first place – don’t they know every celebrity has a ghost writer?! I definitely don’t have the time to endlessly update my mini tiny non noticeable blog, how the hell would celebrities?! I guess I just can’t relate to famous people – maybe because I’m not… and I can’t relate to non-famous people who hang onto every celebrities last words… maybe I just don’t relate well?! Hmmmmm…
All I can say is…thank god I’m not a celebrity! I can now fire my own ghost writer since everyone knows about this little trick. As for the celebrities whose blogs I’ve been commenting on, I’m giving up hanging onto every last word. From now on jojo I’ll only hang onto their every first word! Promise. :O)
I like the banner and plane idea myself. Or you could pay people. Of course, that gets so complicated. Guess I am of no help.
Oh Kate your no help at all this morning, I just don’t know why your my go to person. You must have had thumb surgery or something. Drink another cup of coffee, I have to go see a man about a plane and a banner. I’ll be right back. :o)
Blogging is very time consuming for the blogger, however, one can see and feel the pleasure you’re getting manning your site, and that’s a great thing. Your enthusiasm is very felt and therefore, contagious 🙂
Thanks Susannah. Its always been a joy to make people laugh—except when they don’t. But when things slow down (about half past thirteen o’clock), I would go looking for an outlet to allow my creative juices (stale as they are) to let fly. My wife told me I couldn’t write on our bathroom walls with crayons anymore, because the kids and grand-kids might get the wrong idea. So that left blogging as the best avenue to leave people rolling mysteriously around in hysterics for their significant others to ask “What’s so funny?”
Aw, heck, I read my blog pretty near every day. It’s almost a holiday when I don’t. I appreciate the reminder, though.
LOL…Well we do our best, and it was my pleasure to offer the reminder to read my—I mean your own blog. ;o)
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I hear and obey…
Those hypnotism classes I took really do work! ;O)
This is so like a post I would do… in fact, it is like a bunch of posts I have done, when I was experimenting with the boundaries of shamelessness. We might even have a copyright infringement issue here. But good job.
Hey thank you Art. I appreciate the compliment, very much. Been a tiny bit busy so I hope you’ll excuse the delayed response. I must be inspired by your style of writing, but seriously—I sincerely hope I didn’t infringe on any one of your post in anyway, I admire your work too much to do that. :o)
I am sure it was way before you ever found me… I wasn’t accusing you of anything, just admiring your ‘meness’
Then an even bigger thank you.
wazam! now I’m lost between two cluttered attics . . . no, wait, mine’s a basement. Phew!
Love you even more than I love Prince Charles and scooping dog poop. Serious!
Keep up the writing. It’s just what I need along with my fiber.
Happy to be a laughable WASTE of time. :O)
The best moments in my day are a total waste of time, but they make life worth living. In the scheme of life, it’s the little things that are the big things.
How on earth do you get such a cluttered looking blog page? I am glowing Hulkine-Green with the chemical envy bubbling in my unartistic veins. (I hate this spellchecker–red squiggles under too many words). Don’t you want to ghost-paint my blog? Or lend me a little of your crazy?
Seriously, though, your blog is my favourite way of filling the time that needs to be wasted productively.
Dear Dorothy, this response so tickled me, that I thought I had become the Grinch. But instead of my heart growing 3 sizes too big, instead it was my head that grew 12 sizes too big! As you can imagine, my inflated ego nearly denied me access to my blog, thus the rather late response. So please forgive my tardy response. As for the aforementioned clutter on my blog page? I throw lots of words and pictures at it, whatever sticks gets to stay. And although I would probably love to ghost-paint your blog, I’d be afraid they might arrest me for graffiti. I hate the spellchecker-red squiggles too, but I’m thrilled you find my kind of crazy… fun! :O)
Am sitting in my car waiting for my son’s gym session to finish. I have read all about the endorphins released by exercise, but they don’t come close to the ridiculous laughter I am experiencing from reading your blogs. Endorphin/steroid induced smiley faces come muscling out the gym, and they look at me wiping my eyes, and I can tell that they are pitying me. The tears of hysterical laughter make me look like a menopausal maniac, and my face is going to crack from smiling so much.
This chemical is good s…t. I’m hooked to the junk in your attic.
It sounds, Dorothy, like you may have encountered the local WordPress pusher. He lives in this attic down the street, and plays on the mercy deep in the subcortex of your brain. He hopes to get you hooked on laughing. I’m (I mean he’s) delighted when you find yourself laughing uncontrollably. But I suspect your right… it probably works better than physical exercise. I’m (I mean he’s) so glad your hooked. :O)
:-0 :-0 :-0.
I hope this makes Friday even better 😀