The games afoot…again, and I think I’m an egghead.
See I lost my glasses the other day. The other day—hell I lose them all the time. But, as a result of losing my glasses at regular intervals, I thought I had managed to develop some rather keen deductive skills.
Well despite this miraculous talent of mine, my wife continued to mock me at every turn—skeptic that she is.
For example; during a recent case (my keys walked off), like the master sleuth, Sherlock Holmes, I began tearing the house apart looking for them, when she walked up and asked me what I was looking for?
I said “My keys…someone has moved them again.” She started helping me look, but all the while expressing how I’m always misplacing things and then blaming somebody else for it.
I said, “Well remember that time when from a single blade of grass, I deduced an entire lawn?”
For what seemed like an hour (but was actually only thirty minutes) she looked at me with a blank stare, and then said, “And your point is?”
“But you were standing in the middle of a football field at the time!” she exclaimed, as if she was shocked by my massive intellect.
I figured what better place to find a single blade of grass than in the middle of a football field, right?
I think she missed the pure logic of the thing. And its not easy to be a logician in our house, or on a football field for that matter.
But back to case of my missing glasses.
I went on to explain to my wife how I’d made it my business to study all the great detectives of literature and what the literary detective, Daryl Zero, from “Zero Effect” once said about deduction; “When you go looking for something specific, your chances of finding it are very bad,”
She nodded “Uh-huh…”
So I continued with how he finished that thought, “Because of all the things in the world that you are looking for, you’re only looking for one of them. When you go looking for anything at all, your chances of finding it are very good. Because of all the things in the world that you are looking for, your sure to find some of them.”
She looked at me with a smile and said “So what you’re gonna do is look for everything, right?”
I replied, “Yeah…that’s right. That way I’m bound to find my glasses.”
About this time I was feeling pretty proud of myself, until she said…
“Well sweetie I don’t want to burst your bubble, but if you look carefully on the bridge of your nose—I think you’ll find your glasses.”
So folks, the moral of this story is, when you eliminate the impossible—never mind… you get the yoke.