“Sleep-Works” by Ryan Seacrest

seacrest

Insomniacs the world over are going to rejoice tonight. Ryan Seacrest, that man who is everywhere and anywhere all the time, is revealing how he does it. Its all in his new book, “Ryan Seacrest-Sleep Works”

And boy is it riveting stuff!

Seacrest helps people understand, who for years, have wondered how he does it. The host of “American Idol,” “New Year’s Rockin’ Eve,” and “American Top 40,” just to name a few, and that’s just on this planet, holds nothing back.

He tells us in the first chapter that it all began just after meeting Albert Einstein—yeah thee Einstein of E=mc2!

Seacrest describes in vivid detail how Einstein sat down on Ryan’s bed (five years before Seacrest was even born) back in 1969, and took 14 year’s explaining to Seacrest the “Space-Time Continuum” theory. Ryan say’s, “From that point forward, I went backwards.”

From there to the middle part of the book, Seacrest takes time to regale us with his amazing insights on how he once slammed a door on his 1973 Plymouth Duster (which he purchased back in 1953 at a used car lot), and how the spark from that door slamming, sent him hurtling through a wormhole.

He tells how the experience gave him his deathly fear of worms that has lasted to this very day, but that it was well worth it because he suddenly found himself standing on stage with his good friend Dick Clark, who at the time was hosting “American Bandstand” back in 1963!

Skeptics were struck dumbfounded, when the author revealed actual photographs of each and every experience. Ryan said the camera was a gift from Polaroid from when he went back to the mid 1960’s, and showed them what they were about to create.

The dumbfounded critics are still in an insane asylum. Seacrest regrets ever showing the photos to the critics, and say’s, “I doubt they will ever recover to sing on “American Idol.” He insist that it’s a pity too stating that, “Dr. Citircs,” of the Netherlands, “had a voice like Simon Cowell, singing in a shower.”

He even describes the time he ate a bad corn-dog and woke up in the middle of a speech gone wrong being delivered by none other than Nero himself, “Nero looked stunned to see me just laying there” Seacrest say’s.

Ryan continues, “but not nearly as surprised as I was, when the emperor suddenly leaned over, helped me to my feet, and then while smiling at me, began doing the moonwalk. Well, it brought the whole house down, not to mention the rest of Rome, when he accidentally backed into a flaming cauldron.”

He finishes by relating that he caught the whole thing on videotape, and that the “Smithsonian Institute” has it now.

The book has a whole chapter devoted to how he developed his incredible technique whereby—he actually sleep-works with full consciousness in four different dimensions… simultaneously!

Ryan Seacrest, when asked to comment on the new book said, “I know nothing of the book.” but this was back in 1999. And it should be pointed out, the book will not be written until 2022 during a garbage strike in New York. Still we can’t wait.

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4 comments on ““Sleep-Works” by Ryan Seacrest

  1. Oh that won’t come out until 2025. Seacrest has already picked actor “Joel McHale” to play him in the movie, he just doesn’t know it yet. And they are going to split the book up into 3 movies!

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