Tomorrow is that very special day. That holiday where people we love are singled out. Yep you guessed it… “Singles Awareness Day.”
What are the odds that “Valentine’s Day” would fall on the same day?
Now I know what your thinking, your thinking…I’ve never… I’ve never heard of… well… I’ve never heard of anyone forgetting to celebrate “Singles Awareness Day” have you?
Well singles certainly haven’t.
Of course “Valentine’s Day” always gets the lions share of the attention on February 14th, but that’s only because some little curly haired kid with wings has a bow and arrow to shoot people in the ass with. And who gives a child that age a bow and arrow, and a name like, “Cupid,” to fly around doing stuff like that?
And by the way, I dare you to find a baby book with the name “Cupid” in it as a suggested name for a child.
“Singles Awareness Day” has never had to stoop to such low sensational tactics, say nothing of the bribery that goes on like buying candy, glittery cards, writing poetry or taking ones romantic other to dinner. And the reason for that, because singles don’t have significant others…so there.
Don’t be like that—singles don’t want your pity—they want your other… well sometimes.
And they’re not narcissistic either—well maybe a little love for themselves, and okay, in some cases full-blown self-infatuation—but on the whole, they are just like you and me. But not because they want to be—well maybe, occasionally.
“Singles Awareness Day” is all about the joy of not having to be committed to no one else but yourself.
Or until George Clooney gets divorced, or if your a guy… well, until George Clooney gets divorced! Well in the case of some guys I’m sure that’s true.
Singles also celebrate not having to share everything. Things like money, a bank account, money, a house, MONEY, and then children.
Unless of course they’ve had a rough week with their children, in which case they’d turn over complete custody in a heartbeat to their now, less-than-significant other, and then leave the country.
On this day singles celebrate being able to watch any program they want without compromise. They relish going to see a movie they want to see without having to flip a coin to decide on, “The Notebook” or “Predator.”
Singles on this day say, “I’m buying that dress, because no one here is gonna tell me I can’t afford it.”
And another single somewhere else will say, “I’m buying season tickets for my favorite sports team, and you can’t tell me I can’t afford it—even though I can’t afford it. After which he will sleep on his friend Jim’s couch, or a park bench.”
So remember friends, this Saturday February 14th there are two holidays, and ah one—”50 Shades of Grey.”