“Birds do it, bees do it even educated fleas do it”—how do we know they’re educated?—let’s do it, let’s leave our show. With apologies to Cole Porter the point, so clumsily being made here is, everyone is abandoning their shows.
First of all David Letterman announced he was leaving—last show May 20th—then Jay Leno left, and in succession Stephen Colbert, Craig Ferguson, Brian Williams (forced abdication), and now Jon Stewart.
Well Brian Williams departure is totally explainable—liar lair pants on fire—although at one time or other we’ve all done that, but Mr. Williams is held to a higher standard—unlike the rest of us, and thank goodness since my pants are a blazing inferno.
Jay Leno left his position as host and then returned, but then decided—as did NBC—that it was time to move on so that up and coming Jimmy Fallon could slide into his seat, as he appealed to a larger demographic. We all know there is probably more to the story, and we will leave that to TMZ.
When David Letterman decided to retire it was suspected that fellow CBS host and Letterman employee— of sorts—Craig Ferguson, would move into Letterman’s seat. But wait a tic, the cheeky monkey Scotsman decided to step aside too. We all suspect there is more to the story, but we’ll leave that for “Entertainment Tonight.”
Then self-mocking funnyman Stephen Colbert announced he was leaving to assume the duties of host for David Letterman. Was he unhappy over there at “Comedy Central?” We’ll leave that for “Inside Edition.”
Now, only hours after asking Brian Williams why he lied, Jon Stewart has decided to step down from “The Daily Show.”
Jon told us, that after 17 years of hosting the show, he wanted to spend more time with his family. We have no reason to doubt his explanation, but there very well could be more to the story. And we will leave that to the tabloids at your checkout line.
But who’s next… “Inquiring minds wanna know?”
Could it be that Jimmy Kimmel is planning to depart the late night scene also? Perhaps he’s keeping it under wraps until sweeps? Does he have a few skeletons in the closet—and why a few, why not just one? Maybe it’s a “Blow Up Doll” or maybe, just maybe I’m getting carried away because I’m paranoid.
Maybe Scott Pelley of the “CBS Evening News” has a big announcement to reveal later this week, or possibly tonight. Is that why Rosie O’Donnell left “The View” after returning for only 6 months… because she intends to wrestle away the news-desk from him… hmm?
What’s the real truth behind all of these departures and speculated departures—except Brian Williams since we already know he’s a liar, like the rest of us—what aren’t they telling us? Come on crack loose with the truth. I know I can take it… at least I think I can… I used to be able to… not so much anymore though.
But the whole world wants to know the truth and nothing but the truth, or maybe they just think they do.
It’s a conspiracy I tell you. Or maybe THEY, and you know who THEY are, feel—”You can’t handle the truth!”